Sunday, January 12, 2014

imperfect getaway

La Jument, off the coast of Brittany, photograph by Jean Guichard
in the dead water
I see a calm 
one need not worry about the impact of the storm

when the moon illuminates scenes of havoc
my words haunt me in my pool of thoughts
I wish to be remote

but it is just a random moment
one of those which recedes with water
I need to collect it and price it

I do not wish for scenes to litter my marked area
the green blue ocean may differ with me
now that it is topped with foam

"when your lifeless body finally washes ashore,
I would have gone into hiding"

30 comments:

Pealogic said...

I actually felt a calm and remoteness when reading your words. A great read.

Jae Rose said...

There is a assuredness in the words and the thoughts here..very wise

Kathe W. said...

there is a tidal rhythm to your poem. Well done!

alan1704 said...

a random moment well crafted and touchingly calm in a world of turmoil.

alan1704 said...
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Robyn Greenhouse said...

The ocean doesn't hide it's feelings especially when "it is topped with foam"!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This is very beautiful, Guatami.....wisdom, like waves.

Truedessa said...

the second verse really caught me beautiful words..

Sabra Bowers said...

Well wordled.

awakenedwords said...

thoughts receding with the tide...nice image

scotthastiepoet said...

An ambitious but successful attempt to capture a sense of calm and disassociation - well achieved and an interesting read, for sure... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com

Susan said...

Whew! I cannot tell if the narrator is lost in the storm, or if she has found her stand remote and calm. Either way, the poem is powerful! (Did you mean price or prize?)

himani rawat nayal said...

That's the might of an ocean and its influence over us.

oldegg said...

I read this as though the two of you were apparently drowned at sea but only one was recovered but your life still goes on...elsewhere, hopefully with better luck next time.

Marianne said...

Love this line:
"my words haunt me in my pool of thoughts."

humbird said...

Enjoyed your calm state of mind, willingness to see this element working with you.

Berowne said...

Provoking and poignant at the same time...

Tess Kincaid said...

I like the shift from calm to foam...

Kay said...

i love the collecting of moments to price.....lovely x

Jim said...

Lulled by the storm, paths will part but both are futile.

I think this is the way one freezes to death when caught out in a blizzard. Hunker down either way and lose it all.
Later the persons may or may not be found, but still futile.
..

Karen S. said...

There's a beauty to your words, quite vivid. A lovely poem.

grapeling said...

especially your first verse has a good rhythm and pace ~

Stormcat Poetry said...

I didn't feel a calm at all. To me this spoke of the vast tumult of life that like an ocean may have small glimpses of calm scattered randomly and unpredictably. No assurance there only an acceptance of the chaos.

Claudia said...

smiles... you know... i think he knows the ocean so well and that gives this unearthly calm... a breathtaking pic..

Helena said...

'I need to collect and price it' simply stunned me that line did!

ms pie said...

i love this place you go....

Kutamun said...

Drawn from a depth scarcely imaginable, well done , Gautami

Belva Rae Staples said...

Nicely done!

Belva Rae Staples said...
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Kalpana Solsi said...

In the raging tempest your words have an calming effect. well-written.