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| La Jument, off the coast of Brittany, photograph by Jean Guichard |
I see a calm
one need not worry about the impact of the storm
when the moon illuminates scenes of havoc
my words haunt me in my pool of thoughts
I wish to be remote
but it is just a random moment
one of those which recedes with water
I need to collect it and price it
I do not wish for scenes to litter my marked area
the green blue ocean may differ with me
now that it is topped with foam
"when your lifeless body finally washes ashore,
I would have gone into hiding"
29 comments:
I actually felt a calm and remoteness when reading your words. A great read.
There is a assuredness in the words and the thoughts here..very wise
there is a tidal rhythm to your poem. Well done!
a random moment well crafted and touchingly calm in a world of turmoil.
The ocean doesn't hide it's feelings especially when "it is topped with foam"!
This is very beautiful, Guatami.....wisdom, like waves.
the second verse really caught me beautiful words..
Well wordled.
thoughts receding with the tide...nice image
An ambitious but successful attempt to capture a sense of calm and disassociation - well achieved and an interesting read, for sure... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com
Whew! I cannot tell if the narrator is lost in the storm, or if she has found her stand remote and calm. Either way, the poem is powerful! (Did you mean price or prize?)
That's the might of an ocean and its influence over us.
I read this as though the two of you were apparently drowned at sea but only one was recovered but your life still goes on...elsewhere, hopefully with better luck next time.
Love this line:
"my words haunt me in my pool of thoughts."
Enjoyed your calm state of mind, willingness to see this element working with you.
Provoking and poignant at the same time...
I like the shift from calm to foam...
i love the collecting of moments to price.....lovely x
Lulled by the storm, paths will part but both are futile.
I think this is the way one freezes to death when caught out in a blizzard. Hunker down either way and lose it all.
Later the persons may or may not be found, but still futile.
..
There's a beauty to your words, quite vivid. A lovely poem.
especially your first verse has a good rhythm and pace ~
I didn't feel a calm at all. To me this spoke of the vast tumult of life that like an ocean may have small glimpses of calm scattered randomly and unpredictably. No assurance there only an acceptance of the chaos.
smiles... you know... i think he knows the ocean so well and that gives this unearthly calm... a breathtaking pic..
'I need to collect and price it' simply stunned me that line did!
i love this place you go....
Drawn from a depth scarcely imaginable, well done , Gautami
In the raging tempest your words have an calming effect. well-written.
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