Friday, January 18, 2008

pyramids of dreams--Friday Fiction/Fiction 5

Friday 5 words are:

[Fiction] Friday theme for: January, 18 2008

that elegant singer had created chemistry between herself and her listeners
after that standing ovation, silence was so thick that it could be cut with a knife
he was enjoying the interlude
he bent down to re-tie the shoelace, which had come undone
if only it was that easy to get his life back on track
because of his sheer neglect, everything around him was in shambles
he was not even particularly fond of classical forms of art
loud music with no substance was more his style
soothing notes, according to him, were for weaklings
shadows on the walls appeared so normal
were his thoughts grotesque
pyramids over pyramids of it
if his work was all done
why was he not taken seriously
when the opera started again, he daydreamed some more

“snake was being chased by a snake charmer”


Anonymous said...

He doesn't anymore!

poefusion said...

Personally, I enjoyed the Opera the one time I was fortunate to go. But, I do think it is an acquired taste for some. I get the feeling he's lost somewhere and isn't sure how to recover his dreams and aspirations. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day.

deathsweep said...

I love this.

Anonymous said...

Love the poem, not Opera, although I do admire the talent of the performers.

sage said...

I enjoy the opera--and I love your last line (snake being chased by the snake charmer--which creates a comic vision in my mind).

I have reviewed Mary Oliver's handbook and refer to you in my reveiw--check it out, it'll be posted shortly.

Keith's Ramblings said...

Great read. Oh- I am an opera lover too!

Anonymous said...

Gautami, this is terrific. I could see it also as a piece of 100 word fiction, or a short story. You are a master of telling a complicated, nuanced story with enviable economy of words.

PS I daydream all the time, especially when something is "serious".

Tumblewords: said...

Interesting poem! Nice title, too!

paisley said...

excellent combined work.... i like the snake charmer idea.... wish it really worked...

Jodi Cleghorn said...

Snake being chased by snake charmer conjures up so many different takes and images - I love thinking through all the possible nuances of this scenario.

I've never been to the Opera though we watched Carmen on TV one Saturday afternoon many many years ago and I really enjoyed it - so who knows.

It seems an odd place for this person to be - makes me wonder how one comes to be in such a place?

Thanks so much for creating more questions than answers - I'll have fun with this one all day (as I've just got up!)

PJD said...

I like very much the contrasts in this. Ovation to silence, opera to life in shambles, elegant singer to loose shoelace. Building pyramids is a monumental task, yet he neglects important things in his life. The more I think about this poem, the more I like it.

Unknown said...

I enjoy some operas, but others I have no use for. The poetry was sublime as usual, Gautami.

Bill said...

grotesque interlude—
a neglected shoelace
and its chemistry

Just foolin' around

little wing writer said...

now that was beautiful