in the closet
I catch a whiff
I rummage it again
in the dark,
standing first on one foot
then another-
I can still see you
in the back of my eyes
my closet encloses
all I hold dear
encircling too
my lonely thoughts
missing you suddenly
after eight years
I can hear you call me-
you reach me with your hug
"you were my centre, I am still the circumference"
37 comments:
beautiful!!
That last line was perfect.
Just beautiful. Mind holds last line, not wanting to let go of it!
I enjoted this... and that last line is wonderful!
This is interesting, very different....I also looked at your poem about your dad/closet. It is extremely moving...nice work.
I like it - a closet can be a bit like a warm hug, if it contains much of the essence of the one who used it.
So touching! You captured that moment so vividly.
This is very well done. Thank you.
Yes. Beautiful.
Unexpected tenderness.
lovely...dramatic! loved the last line! ;-)
I can relate to this some.. well Gautami, its always the end line of your poems that to me always seem to be a beginning for your next thought..
great words, love it totally=P
Love the quote "you were my centre, I am still the circumference" and your expression. A creative take on the prompt.
You brought the sense, the feeling right in to the room with this beautiful verse. The last line is simply haunting...
i love where you take this...and many, i included, long fo that last hug...tight throated i write this...nice one shot!
a heartfelt poem. the last line is very strong.
Beautiful and heartfelt poem!
Beautiful, but sad.
This is wonderful. It is sad, but truly a beautiful expression of memory.
It is very sad and beautiful, such is life, and the sentiment which is crystal clear in the last line.
this hit home for me I lost my dad one year ago I miss him terribly, and this was so touching!
Wonderful, these memories wil never leave you!
<3
I liked the mathematical last line... a nice One Shot!
such a heartfelt poem - and the last line just blows me away..beautiful
heartwarming work.
great way to remember...
loveNlight
Gabi
Warm tribute!
such strong sad longing.. beautifully written
I loved that! And I agree- the last line is excellent!
Still feel that way about my husband. I have a few things left in my closet just because. Beautifully written. Thanks, Gay @beachanny
Tami, this is a truly sad and moving poem.The last ling is sharp with pain."you were my centre, I am still the circumference" Just beautiful.
Melanie
Woah... this is beautiful. Last line GOLD STAR! Love and Light, Sender
Amazing, deep and touching
Center/circumference--they form a whole. And one without the other feels incomplete. Nicely expressed.
Victoria
I'm glad you came by my place today. Your work is very good, very strong.
But I disagree with everyone here. The finest line in this poem is:
I can still see you
in the back of my eyes
I can still see you
in the back of my eyes
is the line that stands out for me too.
the delicate, indelible impression of a dear one. Beautiful!
This one is amazing ...
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