on a monday morning,
I see that girl rushing out
and watch her slip on the sidewalk
and a boy catch her slowly
or maybe I see it in slow motion
I too slip, and the paint splashes
on the walls, falling on ground
I had picked the rollers
out of the garbage,
to roll on the bare walls
to cover the evidence
of our raw tactility
to give it a semblance
"now watching the boy and the girl, I want it all open"
16 comments:
nice, love how you weave in the boy and the girlllto cover the evidence is a nice line as well...well played...
I came here via Brian's blog, and see he's the first commenter :) He's fast, isn't he?! I don't know how he does it :)
Your'e good, Gautami....I liked the line in Hinder the Tremors, "I don't need an eye for an eye
the world is already blind."
Nice....
wonderfully inventive
Thought provoking indeed!
"to cover the evidence
of our raw tactility"
Loved these lines especially. Good one.
Very nice!
Well done Gautami and the interconnection of the two verses makes the pattern whole!!
I really like this.
"to cover the evidence
of our raw tactility"
Wow!
The meaning you describe is all too real and all too intangible. Where's the evidence?
I always love your endings!
Really like your choice of words:
"to cover the evidence
of our raw tactility"
Wow!
Thank you for your visit and leaving me this link to a wonderful poem.
Gautami, liked this very much. Glad the boy caught the girl, but sad no one caught the speaker. The ending floats there, suspended, and I liked that, too. Nice! Amy
Mine: http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/strolling-we-write-poems/
I just love that last stanza, Gautami.
Pamela
Beautiful poem... Wonderful how paint can hide many things, but it can also draw attention to others.
Ahaa!Covering evidence!
I have done some covering of secrets myself...
Nice magpie!
love the words playing here with the image
Post a Comment