I scraped the container
tasting honey with my finger
sweetness ruled over the sour taste
that sour taste left from the remnants of past
sweet and sour make strange bedfellows
and I almost perished
I was in love with life,
mind you, not with you
the road may seem long and winding
but I like to watch the dregs in my tea cup
those cannot tell me my future
but make a nice pattern
someday I will knit a sweater
which will go with my golden heels
"I love my red sunglasses and green shoes
you can have my golden heels in your chest"
36 comments:
Golden heels will take you off to many good places..I love the rich imagery..the dreaminess of tea drunk and settling..slightly unreal..like a love lost..Jae
I love the wayyou worked the golden heels into your lovely piece!!
Your imagery is awesome!
sweetness ruled over the sour taste
that sour taste left from the remnants of past
....am very moved by these lines!
wow! I was quite amazed that you were able to work the prompt into your piece ... it was fabulous!
Tea and honey, a nice soothing start. Golden heel in the chest, not really very soothing ending.
I loved the in-between. Nice write, Tami.
..
The line, but I like watch the dregs in my tea cup, needs a small fix. Like 'to watch' or 'watching' or different depending on how you meant it to be.
..
Thanks Jim! I fixed it. I must have been in too much of a hurry and posted it without proofreading!!
Dear Gautami,
Very creative and mind blowing. The golden heels left an impression. Thanks for sharing.
Gautami, so nice to read you again! Found you at the Scribs. I agree with all about the imagery, but the dregs in the tea cup bring up so many thoughts, from divining the future to simply pondering their patterns as they swirl, small leaves in a wet breeze... Lovely. Keep those golden heels handy, babe. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/05/27/the-last-time-i-danced-dverse/
Golden heels in your chest...ouch!
Nice thoughts on watching tea leaves.
From tea to sweater... now, that is a journey worth taking. I love the imagery and depth in this poem, Gautamy! It does mix sweet and sour, and I can taste it.
Best, M.
I think sweet and sour compliment each other well, the contrast between the two helps illustrate the subtleties of each. Wonderful images in this poem!
really good, loved the whole middle section
excellent.
"sweetness ruled over the sour taste" and this is how we stay in love with life! Beautiful poem.
Nicely done. Nicely done. :)
"I was in love with life,
mind you, not with you
the road may seem long and winding
but I like to watch the dregs in my tea cup"
I love this portion!! Excellent poem!
Yes, the golden heels left quite an impression! A creative take on the prompt.
I like this a lot! I think I'll get my golden heels out of storage!
Oh that sweetness will always rule over the sour of life! Very nice completion.
http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2012/05/long-road.html
Oh my what an ending...love it!! great piece!
as I have said in the past...you always leave my mind churning...if we ever meet you will see the butter you force me to churn is sweet
Great title an equally good poem. That last bit of dialogue made me laugh out loud. Loved it.
I can hear that RAD fellow of Tess's reading this! (Or maybe his female equivalent...)
=)
Tea swirls overlapping in the shallows of a cup are life and love. well done!!
yikes on the heels in the chest....i like the play in this...the pattern in the cup, and knitting a sweater...smiles...
I love the perspective of this as well as the sense of triumph in this piece.
Tea, sweaters and heels - with the sweet and sour too! Well done!
I still don't know how you put it all together but you did! I like the thoughts of the dregs in the tea cup and though they don't foretell, you like the pattern they make. I like that spirit.
Simply wonderful!
i love this!
and you incorporated the prompts wonderfully!
♥
loved the non-circular trajectory of this.
the stream of consciousness that doesn't feel the need to over explain all the situations, but only convey the feeling.
Wow, the dreaminess of this piece and the bam, the punch at the end.
Great writing style.
~Naila Moon
http://writing-out-of-the-blue.blogspot.com/2012/05/dressed-for-successa-story.html
clever light hearted turning words back on words.
a nasty break up and a humorous turn of phrase.
very, very, good job.
Who needs a picture with this powerful visualization?
Not me!
This was brilliant!
Love, love, love your writing style.
I'm first in line to buy a collection of your work!
That is something really crazy, i am glad to have a look over this poetry, thanks a ton!
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