water vibrates with skyI watch the emerging stream
my mind aligns it with the trees
contrast of the blooms winks at you
I see clear dots of nature
in the cobalt blue of your eyes
you wink at me,
I feel the hook of yours
pull me into you
"the sky, that stream, the trees
take me away from daily grind,
and I melt like ice onto you"
18 comments:
you seem to really understand rivers
the river
verification makes it really hard to comment. you'd get more comments if you turned it off. i had to do this several times to get it to work.
Clever river...
clever write.....
:)
This was lovely and bit romantic and oh, what pretty eyes one must have.
http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com/blog/
You have reminded me of some of the great Dutch Master Artists who were able to paint scenes in the iris' of the eyes of those they painted...
Wonderfully wordled.
You can find my Wordle hereL
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/trade-winds-sunday-whirl-55.html
People are able to hook other people in, aren't they? Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes not...
Whirling Haiku and Senryu
very nice, love the last stanza and the flecks of nature in the eyes.
Sensuous and romantic. Nice, what the river inspires. Enjoyed much!
I love the sense of surrender in the line ... and I melt like ice onto you" ... so sensual and comforting, in a way.
I love the feel of the hook. Beautiful pulling.
Lovely and sensual.
Oh yes, those perfect hooks!
I've seen clear dots of nature in the cobalt blue of my husband's eyes.
Especially in the sun, near the water.
=)
I really enjoyed this!
Came here from your link at the Poets United Poetry Pantry...
I really like the "clear dots of nature" in the eyes... lovely
I feel like your writing has a wonderful pureness and honesty to it. Sometimes innnocent, sometimes painful, but always honest.
The eyes tell all!
I love the winking, but the last line was achingly beautiful.
Perfect!!
Post a Comment