that slow descent was my undoing
I held your hand
my fingers embracing yours
in the orange haze of my mind
nothing was more beautiful
my spectacles slipped to the ground
crushed under our combined emotions
life's journey lost its meaning
in the ochre sidelines
I despaired to get closer
and closer and closer
that smile was my nemesis
I got lost in the golden light
sold to you, I hoped
to be etched into you
to be crushed in that mind
disintegration of self was so welcome
sounds of hues of orange
still speak to me
even when I am searching for you
essentially to find you by my side
"you never ever disappear
yet I fear, yet I fear
I might clear out
as my mind rests on the fence"
31 comments:
Beautiful poem, Gautami. So much longing expressed in these words.
OMG... all the poems tonight seem to be speaking to me. I'm not sure what that means...:) The line that struck me the most..."that smile was my nemesis." That line contains an entire poem within it... beautifully done. Your words are so relatable.
I enjoyed the imagery, rapture, and romance in this poem. Nicely written.
Effective use of color as a seductive force and how it plays with our emotions and memories.
This is so full of longing and emotion. Nicely done.
Ah ... Ochre sidelines and the golden light ... beautiful
I've missed you lately. Glad you're back.
Your ochre poem is a triumph of beautiful writing.
Ochre and Orange and Gold, oh my. Touching work.
I've also been away from posting to WWP for a while (though I read every week, mostly); hope to be more regularly present.
You have woven the colour with the emotions into a seductive feast of both. This one curls and curves around the reader right along with those golden hues.
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2009/01/01/a-woman-of-color/
You have such a nice way of adding detail to sweeping texture.
things like
my spectacles slipped to the ground
crushed under our combined emotions
WOW!
"To be etched into you, to be crushed in that mind, disintegration of self was so welcome" struck me as particularly vivid. Great poem.
I'll never think of ochre the same again. Lovely poem.
Loved loved the closure! Wonderful poem!!
Beautiful sentiment!
Beautiful, romantic and touching.
hues of orange
still speak to me...
you haven't forgotten yet... :)
I like the colors you use -- ochre and orange haze.
This is all so evocative. To be lost in the love of someone cannot be surpassed (I don't think) I love the colours you've used to describe both emotions and the senses. The golden light of the smile. The crushing of spectacles says so much of the shared passion. This is truly a 'wow' of a poem.
Passion. Obsession. Longing. The colors of orange, burning, burning. My heart would run away while my feet moved towards that light. Fear. Fear. Obsession. Flee.
Yet I fear, yet I fear!
Beautiful and charming words about longing or sentiment.
Thank you for sharing
"I hoped / to be etched into you." There is something about this line...
a beautiful piece.
Very beautiful. Lost in the golden light of love :)
Evocative and beautiful poem!
Beautiful. I love the imagery you have in here.
really nice piece here. Great job
Beautifully expressed. ANd orange is my favorite color.
Poignant longing threads this beautiful poem glazed in that stunning orange hue!
Gautami,
Read 2 poems now. Both convey feelings on betrayal in a very touching way.
Take care
such longing, and i love the use of strong positive colours. :)
Such a heartfelt poem, so vivid and haunting. I also loved that phrase, that smile was my nemesis.. how easy it is to be swept away :-)
Emotionally charged, and beautifully expressed. Love the ending.
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