Wednesday, October 31, 2007

pencil stub-----3WW


Phone
Stumbled
Windy


a certain memory captures the moment.
with fine strokes, she sketches in with a pencil stub.
graphite can be erased unlike embedded thoughts.
circling around where there is no end and no beginning.
windy weather does nothing.
not even make her shiver.
words within her mind are stumbling over each other
falling like a pool of debris.

she watches the soil beneath her bare feet,
clutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes.

phone rings. she barely moves.

‘no one knows her here’

29 comments:

pia said...

So beautiful. So sad.

RomanceWriter said...

This line is very lyrical
words within her mind are stumbling

I like that!

UL said...

'No-one knows her here' is my fav.
Embedded thoughts unlike graphite so difficult to erase, oh I love it. Thanks Gautami.

Michelle Johnson said...

You take such simple words and make something so beautiful, emotional and shape it into a masterpiece. This poem was beautiful. Keep up the good work. I can't help wonder what she was sketching. Thanks for sharing.

Have a nice day.
Michelle

charles said...

i have to disagree.....

"time" is one of the great erasers - and can make the memories fade, and then go.

:)

happy 3WW gautami.

-charles

Truefaith1963 said...

Some memories cannot be erased even when we want them to be - this is very powerful Gautami.
PS I REALLY liked last weeks as well!

lissa said...

I like the way the words seem to blend together. Nice.

KaraMia said...

very pretty and bright with images.

Shephard said...

I love the line... "clutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes." The details give great authenticity.

~S

paisley said...

she feels something not so all together questionable... numb... this is exactly hat that feels like....

tumblewords said...

clutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes - how poetically intersting! Nice!

Ghost Particle said...

excellent...felt like a movie scene somehow.

actonbell said...

graphite can be erased unlike embedded thoughts.
Very nice! I enjoyed this:)

sister AE said...

a woman caught in a moment for a long, long time. makes sad sense to me.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

I was there watching her, as clearly as on a movie screen.

Smiler said...

That's really beautiful. I just thought I'd drop in to wish you luck on NaNoWriMo. Don't forget to have fun!

Gay said...

Seems very free-associate, lyrical to me. And beautiful.

Mad Kane said...

I especially liked this:
"graphite can be erased unlike embedded thoughts.
circling around where there is no end and no beginning."
Mad Kane

Lesley said...

I like it all.

Pen and the Sword said...

Very nice. Lots of imagery and emotion in this piece.

Ther said...

nice one gautami. you bring such good images to mind. I also like the last line. No one knows her here. Oh what a suspicious mind!

LittleWing said...

..love the image your words portray...it speaks outloud...beautiful...

charlotta-love said...

WORDS stumbling... I didn't even think of that. nice 3WW post.

TC said...

A certain memory always captures a moment... makes me wish I could sketch.

Rae Trigg said...

I like the way you paint an image of an emotional maelstrom. I can definitely identify.

Herb Urban said...

One memory can trigger emotional, even physical, paralysis. Beautifully written.

Bone said...

windy weather does nothing.
not even make her shiver


That was my favorite part. Some days we are so cold, jaded, hardened, we are oblivious to the weather.

polona said...

you have pictured a poignant story here

A Tag Along Traveler said...

OMG! I think this is so BEAUTIFUL!!! wow I love the words, the flow, the image!!! wow!