Phone
Stumbled
Windy
a certain memory captures the moment.
with fine strokes, she sketches in with a pencil stub.
graphite can be erased unlike embedded thoughts.
circling around where there is no end and no beginning.
windy weather does nothing.
not even make her shiver.
words within her mind are stumbling over each other
falling like a pool of debris.
she watches the soil beneath her bare feet,
clutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes.
phone rings. she barely moves.
‘no one knows her here’
28 comments:
So beautiful. So sad.
This line is very lyrical
words within her mind are stumbling
I like that!
'No-one knows her here' is my fav.
Embedded thoughts unlike graphite so difficult to erase, oh I love it. Thanks Gautami.
You take such simple words and make something so beautiful, emotional and shape it into a masterpiece. This poem was beautiful. Keep up the good work. I can't help wonder what she was sketching. Thanks for sharing.
Have a nice day.
Michelle
i have to disagree.....
"time" is one of the great erasers - and can make the memories fade, and then go.
:)
happy 3WW gautami.
-charles
Some memories cannot be erased even when we want them to be - this is very powerful Gautami.
PS I REALLY liked last weeks as well!
I like the way the words seem to blend together. Nice.
very pretty and bright with images.
I love the line... "clutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes." The details give great authenticity.
~S
she feels something not so all together questionable... numb... this is exactly hat that feels like....
clutching a tiny unknown weed between her toes - how poetically intersting! Nice!
excellent...felt like a movie scene somehow.
a woman caught in a moment for a long, long time. makes sad sense to me.
I was there watching her, as clearly as on a movie screen.
That's really beautiful. I just thought I'd drop in to wish you luck on NaNoWriMo. Don't forget to have fun!
Seems very free-associate, lyrical to me. And beautiful.
I especially liked this:
"graphite can be erased unlike embedded thoughts.
circling around where there is no end and no beginning."
Mad Kane
I like it all.
Very nice. Lots of imagery and emotion in this piece.
nice one gautami. you bring such good images to mind. I also like the last line. No one knows her here. Oh what a suspicious mind!
..love the image your words portray...it speaks outloud...beautiful...
WORDS stumbling... I didn't even think of that. nice 3WW post.
A certain memory always captures a moment... makes me wish I could sketch.
I like the way you paint an image of an emotional maelstrom. I can definitely identify.
One memory can trigger emotional, even physical, paralysis. Beautifully written.
windy weather does nothing.
not even make her shiver
That was my favorite part. Some days we are so cold, jaded, hardened, we are oblivious to the weather.
you have pictured a poignant story here
OMG! I think this is so BEAUTIFUL!!! wow I love the words, the flow, the image!!! wow!
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