Saturday, November 01, 2008

entangling

slowly you raise both your hands to
my head gently pulling at the pins
your fingers rub into my scalp
raven black silken tresses spill over
hiding both of us from the world
you untangle from it, entangling
me tightly with my own hair
wrapping it around me like your love
I can't move yet I move closer to you
to hide myself from you, in you
if my hair could gossip, believe me
it would have so much to convey

"I know, you know, my disguise is you"

40 comments:

B. Roan said...

This is an original approach to the prompt. I really enjoyed reading your blog. Lots of good "stuff" here. BJ

Gamol Gabere said...

Very original interpretation to the prompt and a very good piece of writing.

Billy said...

I love the urgency and passion in the hair falling everywhere. Well done!

Bobbi said...

"...if my hair could gossip, believe me it would have so much to convey."

Wow - what a powerful statement!

Art and Poetry said...

I agree it is very original!

"Sunshine" said...

I agree with Billy--the lines about hair are especially well-written. I really enjoyed this poem.

forgetfulone said...

Very creative. Gossip is definitely scandalous.

keithsramblings said...

This is so originaland a great read. Well done - again!

Linda Jacobs said...

Oh, wow, you've created quite the sensuous feast here! Wonderful!

danni said...

what a cool piece of verse --- it has such a great flow as i read, and such vivid imagery - i love hiding from you, in you - it has such a powerful resonance inside where i live!!!!!

Sweet Talking Guy.. said...

I love the final line, I talk to myself like that too, sometimes.

Stan Ski said...

A safe haven, or a thin veil? We still have our conscience to deal with.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I love the passion in this!!

cyclopseven said...

if only each strand of hair could gossip....how wonderful would it be to convey the messages across:)

Jeeves said...

This has comeout so perfect, nice,...Lots of passion

Bill said...

I like the sensuality of this, and the way the senses bleed into the emotions.

Jim said...

I was engrossed and now I am confused. Not in that "my disguise is you" line, rather about the mechanics and how it all could be acted out. It's the engineer in me.
At any rate I liked it, I still get engrossed each time I read this poem. Perhaps trying to get in on the gossip as well.
..

SandyCarlson said...

Your own hair as a disguise, pulling close to hide...these images resonate with me, even though my hair is rather short! I know the experience. Often I close my eyes to hide..

This is beautifully done.

anthonynorth said...

Deeply psychological. You're certainly back on form with this.

Borut said...

In this world, love is the best disguise to be adopted!?:)

paisley said...

very intimate,, almost erotic.. i liked this very much...

Cricket said...

makes me long for a disguise.

Deborah Godin said...

Beautiful, and so sensual and intimate I almost feeling like I'm inadvertantly eavesdropping!

Alisa Callos said...

This painted wonderful pictures in my mind. Lovely!

Whitesnake said...

"Look in the mirror describe what you see the face of an angel standing,staring at me."

Beth P. said...

"...if my hair could gossip, believe me it would have so much to convey."

wowsers. I've played this game...both as the disguise and the disguised...powerful images like a gut punch!

Thanks, Gautami--

bella rum said...

Original and sensual. Beautiful.

bkclubcare said...

the rhythm of this is lovely!

Sue said...

makes me long (for just a second) for the days when my hair was long enough to entangle two lovers. :) Beautiful poem.

Raven said...

What a gorgeous poem.

Robin said...

What an original, and very sensual, take on the prompt. Very nicely done Gautami.

Pam said...

I really like the line about your hair gossiping. Very beautiful take on the prompts.

Devika said...

i liked this one Gautami

wishes
devika

Tammy said...

Very Sensual Tami and nice job in combining promts.

tumblewords said...

Woohoo! Lovely disguise!

latree said...

ssst... i want to hear your hair gossiping...

Fangs said...

2 prompts 1 post - sweet!

liked the poem as well.

polona said...

i see this as a very sensual poem with just enough intrigue to make it work... love it

fourwindshaiga said...

I love the idea that hair might gossip. This is a good fun poem.

Macie said...

Loved it! Thanks for visiting!