slowly you raise both your hands to
my head gently pulling at the pins
your fingers rub into my scalp
raven black silken tresses spill over
hiding both of us from the world
you untangle from it, entangling
me tightly with my own hair
wrapping it around me like your love
I can't move yet I move closer to you
to hide myself from you, in you
if my hair could gossip, believe me
it would have so much to convey
"I know, you know, my disguise is you"
40 comments:
This is an original approach to the prompt. I really enjoyed reading your blog. Lots of good "stuff" here. BJ
Very original interpretation to the prompt and a very good piece of writing.
I love the urgency and passion in the hair falling everywhere. Well done!
"...if my hair could gossip, believe me it would have so much to convey."
Wow - what a powerful statement!
I agree it is very original!
I agree with Billy--the lines about hair are especially well-written. I really enjoyed this poem.
Very creative. Gossip is definitely scandalous.
This is so originaland a great read. Well done - again!
Oh, wow, you've created quite the sensuous feast here! Wonderful!
what a cool piece of verse --- it has such a great flow as i read, and such vivid imagery - i love hiding from you, in you - it has such a powerful resonance inside where i live!!!!!
I love the final line, I talk to myself like that too, sometimes.
A safe haven, or a thin veil? We still have our conscience to deal with.
I love the passion in this!!
if only each strand of hair could gossip....how wonderful would it be to convey the messages across:)
This has comeout so perfect, nice,...Lots of passion
I like the sensuality of this, and the way the senses bleed into the emotions.
I was engrossed and now I am confused. Not in that "my disguise is you" line, rather about the mechanics and how it all could be acted out. It's the engineer in me.
At any rate I liked it, I still get engrossed each time I read this poem. Perhaps trying to get in on the gossip as well.
..
Your own hair as a disguise, pulling close to hide...these images resonate with me, even though my hair is rather short! I know the experience. Often I close my eyes to hide..
This is beautifully done.
Deeply psychological. You're certainly back on form with this.
In this world, love is the best disguise to be adopted!?:)
very intimate,, almost erotic.. i liked this very much...
makes me long for a disguise.
Beautiful, and so sensual and intimate I almost feeling like I'm inadvertantly eavesdropping!
This painted wonderful pictures in my mind. Lovely!
"Look in the mirror describe what you see the face of an angel standing,staring at me."
"...if my hair could gossip, believe me it would have so much to convey."
wowsers. I've played this game...both as the disguise and the disguised...powerful images like a gut punch!
Thanks, Gautami--
Original and sensual. Beautiful.
the rhythm of this is lovely!
makes me long (for just a second) for the days when my hair was long enough to entangle two lovers. :) Beautiful poem.
What a gorgeous poem.
What an original, and very sensual, take on the prompt. Very nicely done Gautami.
I really like the line about your hair gossiping. Very beautiful take on the prompts.
i liked this one Gautami
wishes
devika
Very Sensual Tami and nice job in combining promts.
Woohoo! Lovely disguise!
ssst... i want to hear your hair gossiping...
2 prompts 1 post - sweet!
liked the poem as well.
i see this as a very sensual poem with just enough intrigue to make it work... love it
I love the idea that hair might gossip. This is a good fun poem.
Loved it! Thanks for visiting!
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