Wednesday, March 04, 2009

at age.....

at age seven, I dreamt of you
your lopsided genuine smile
reflected on my facade

at age sixteen, I craved for you
siding up to you for your touch

at age twenty one, I woke up
next to you, your ramble
tickling me senseless

at age thirty, I basked under
your love, only your love

at age forty, I am all alone
picking up the pieces after you
avenge what, sadly I know not

30 comments:

pia said...

very true, sad and beautiful

Janice Thomson said...

Love how you take us through the years...and through the feelings without a fairy-tale ending.

Fledgling Poet said...

This is heartbreaking...you expressed it with eloquence.

quin browne said...

i hate love stories like this... they always make me sad.

SweetTalkingGuy.. said...

I like the way you are able to 'voice' what is happening in so many peoples lives!

ThomG said...

Drew my in and kept me rapped all the way through. Nice.

Whitesnake said...

Beautifully put Girl!

Christy said...

40 seems to be a painful and lonely age for so many, i felt this poem

anthonynorth said...

The story of so many lives, unfortunately.

Linda Jacobs said...

Half a lifetime in a few lines. So much joy and pain is contained in this poem!

Just someone said...

That is so sweet and a little sad too :(

seven to forty in a flash!

Tumblewords: said...

Well done! A bittersweet piece of life...

Angel said...

Was hoping for a happy ending!

Zouxzoux said...

The progressive story of life. Well done!

Jeeves said...

I walked with you this time. Very very nice one

Jacqueline said...

Avenging for what! Exactly! Very poignant.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

beautiful, but sad...

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

Like Tumblewords, I had hoped for a happy ending. But life isn't always like that, is it?

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Hi Gautami, just stopped by to read this again, and that wise last line - avenge what? sadly I know not!
-Andy

Donald Harbour said...

सुप्रभात, I liked the compression of emotion through time into minimal verses. Beautifully done.

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

Wow. I loved the journey, even though the ending was painful. Very eloquent.

-Nicole

impudence said...

i couldn't agree more. beautiful.

floreta said...

this is a long time to go thru the motions with someone :(

Lirone said...

Sad... I wonder what future years will bring.

sage said...

the other commenters have all said it before me--beautiful and sad

Sepiru Chris said...

I like the ending.

Writer on Board said...

Um. Um. Um. Sigh. You got me.

- A - C - said...

so unfortuately true... especially in the ending.

Beloved Dreamer said...

Tami, this is beautiful sad but just wonderfully written. Well done my friend.


love, Melanie

Bone said...

Heartbreaking, yes, is the first word that came to my mind.