oozing out, out of pores
unevenly ragged spots,
spot raw patches of skin
holed in, into the bones
held by the thin veneer
blood spurts in, inside you
plastering the walls
of stomach, intestines coil in
embracing itself, stuck together
food within is gloriously naked
what pleasure are you getting
relishing in your yucky muck,
muck that is sickeningly sticky
save that drug for something else,
something which needs to be fed
"diseased, decayed decades that
have taken over our will, no less"
******
My Beat poetry has not come up the way I wanted it to. It had a mind of its own and ended this way.
28 comments:
ya not related ta Hannibal Lector are ya?
Very strong imagery here,
Great poem!
This woke me up!
Reminds me of my acid reflux .. the ulcers in my stomach, all those tiny little circles filling with acid, burning me ... oh where are my purple pills.
'Tis morning here. Breakfast recently digested :-)
The eruptions and explosions that we contain! We are worlds unto ourselves. Well done.
Douglas opened one eye.
And everything, absolutely everything, was there.
The world, like a great iris of an even more gigantic eye, which has also just opened and stretched out to encompass everything, stared back at him.
And he knew what it was that had leaped upon him to stay and would not run away now.
I’m alive, he thought...
- Dandelion Wine
Wow - excellent imagery Guatami.
glad i had my dinner before reading this. :)
don't worry, gautami, about the poetry having a mind of it's own. :)
This turned my stomach, but in a delightful sort of way...lol! Very interesting read!
Quite a view of our interior circular landscape!
... and here I am, reacting to this on an emotional level. *sigh* It's been that sort of adventure lately.
not exactly appetising but great imagery!
I so liked the way in which you combined words like "oozing" and "ragged," with "pleasure" and "relishing." It reminds us that many things exist because someone finds them pleasurable, even when they seem repellant.
damn!
read it outload the second time so I could feel the machinery of it!
pretty startling, actually.
Thanks!
i liked the beginning .. but i lost track somewhere :(
Wow!!!!Very good.
On one level I think your right..it is I think- ha. On another it's pretty fasinating- even miraculous. Interesting-
Ah Tami, written by a poets hand. I found this prompt hard. It's nice to see you had no trouble. Well done.
love-bd
I like how it seemed grim at the beginning but quickly began to delight in its own gooeyness.
Woah!
Could actually feel that happening inside me!!
heheehehheh..
cool write...i love it when u try something different.
Hi Gautami, love the yucky muck!
very visceral! Good stuff!!
They say you are what you eat - this takes that to a much higher, more graphical level.
Wow can you express and write!
Maybe I'm wrong but I get a different read on this...I'm getting
a glimpse of a drug--heroin?--from the inside of the user's body. The destruction and in the end, the questioning why and condemnation of the desecration of the body.
I love the rawness, the brutality of the images.
I like the sounds in the first stanza very much. It begged to be read aloud (and I did) to hear those repeated words and tones.
As usual, when I read your work I'm always trying to put a spin of reality on it. Spin. Circle. Yes, it works.
wow, i like this a lot!
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