Saturday, March 07, 2009

let me be

you chose your path
I too have to go my way
my outwardly open palms
will not close and let me sway
listen up because
I got only this much to say

I am moving ahead
sidestepping obstacles in my way
so-called promises of forever
wouldn't let me sway
listen up because
I got few more words to say

my silences ought to tell
you
to keep out of my way
now my closed fists
are making sure, I don't sway
listen up carefully because
now I got nothing else to say

20 comments:

floreta said...

nicely done. i like the repetition of listen up and bringing the last verse back to the first one.. about swaying.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Oh, Gautami, this is aching. I love how the stanza-starting refrain changes. How there's no going back even as there's a small desire to do so.

Well done, my friend!

Janice Thomson said...

I love this Guatami - love the determination to follow one's gut feelings. The ending was perfect.

David said...

quite clear, the message.
all too familiar the situation
and good that the writer has a clear head - all is good when we KNOW what to do and do it.
Jesus be your guide.

captainmolecule said...

Strong message that seemingly is crafted in a calm disposition. Liked it.

anthonynorth said...

Forceful with great repetitions.

SSQuo said...

Very decisive, written with calm determination and resolve.

keiths ramblings said...

What a powerful piece. I can't imagine you with nothing else to say!

sage said...

Another good poem, well done!

Linda Jacobs said...

I love the strength in this poem! And the repetition of fists!

venus66 said...

Loved this poem much.Nice flow.How are you?

Fledgling Poet said...

Strength and determination shine through here...I really enjoyed the empowerment of this poem.

Tumblewords: said...

Way to say! Love the power and 'hear me roar' tone of this. Good job!

nairobi said...

Wow...you expressed this very well...he will surely listen up...

Latree said...

I wouldn't sway
either
noway!

Bee Bee said...

It's sad that some folks need wake up calls before they change. Looks we thought on similar lines. :)

SweetTalkingGuy said...

I like the way you measure each stanza with the bottom line indicator and the final line of the last verse concludes so well 'now I got nothing else to say'

Bone said...

This is excellent, Gautami. And something I can really relate to right now. I needed to read this today. Thanks.

bluebethley said...

At first, this poem combines gentleness with strength. I appreciate the resolve and determination to "sidestep obstacles." For me, the point of view shifts in the last stanza. Sometimes words are not enough and silence is not a warning.

mahesh said...

are u poet.........








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