Sunday, October 17, 2010

sombre sobriquets

I pick that piece of paper
smooth it over my thighs
my palms leave sweaty marks
smudging the words
I shift the superfluous sentences
a semblance of sombre sobriquets jumps 
out. as I reach out to strike out more
I hear a voice say out of nowhere-

"don't cut it slack for slickness and sleekness"

I pause. the paper tears,
I watch the words fly away
they will gather from the clouds
hoard it all for me
they are champions
for my impatience.
if there's one thing I have learned

"sleekness with slickness can't let to be slack"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I credit the sentence don't cut me slack for my slickness and sleekness to, well, he knows who! I simply edited it a bit. 

34 comments:

gs batty said...

clever paly on words. like the way you spin them like a slack sleek vortex

gs batty said...

can't spell play...ah well..one thing I've learned is that I don't edit very good.

ljm (Amias) said...

Very abstract --- I have read a lot of your pieces about writing ...

Greyscale Territory said...

Love this dramatic enactment of word play!

Sweetest in the Gale said...

What wonderful imagery! I love where this took me.

Ramesh Sood said...

Wow! Slick, Sleek and slack
With words, you have a knack

Well done, as usual..

Dances WIth Loons said...

"Champions for my impatience" I like that! Thank you!

Maureen said...

Your alliteration presents a challenge to read the poem aloud. Well done.

ρομπερτ said...

How very impressive words. Made me think way after midnight. Please have a good new week.

daily athens

Systematic Weasel said...

A clever post! Awesome work! =)

-Weasel

SandyCarlson said...

A remarkable, powerful interaction with text. What words can do. Powerful stuff, friend.

Teresa said...

Love the alliteration! Very nicely done.

morganna said...

A fun poem with the alliteration, but it seems very serious at the same time. Good job!

fiveloaf said...

interesting..

Bernadine said...

A lovely poem about writing, I could both see and feel the moment and really like "I watch the words fly away they will gather from the clouds
hoard it all for me"
Beautiful :)

Julia Smith said...

My favorite lines:

'smooth it over my thighs
my palms leave sweaty marks
smudging the words'

Really enjoyed where you took the prompt.

Jingle said...

apt poem!

Whitesnake said...

enjoyable read......

lukepraterswordsalad said...

Title says it all. Wonderfully poetic phrase there. Enjoyed this a lot actually. Good job.

Regards

Luke @ WordSalad


http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/abscond/
http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/08/19/communication/
http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/06/26/257/

liv2write2day said...

This reads aloud so well. Nicely done.
Victoria

Cynthia said...

ah yes, you 've captured the
joy of writing.

buttercup said...

Succinct and so well expressed...loved the read. Thanks so much xx

flaubert said...

Gautami I love the imagery in this.
Pamela

nimaruichi said...

A slick and sleek composition

Sumit Sarkar said...

Good play with words...loved reading it... :)

Tammie said...

thanks for the chuckle, your play with words tricked my mind and i had to laugh. Fun piece.

Patti said...

Nice! I love alliteration and the imagery in your poem~

swapnap said...

Choicest words at play! Good going Gautami.

The Write Girl said...

Lovely and creative. I like the images you conjure here. I enjoyed your take!

sharplittlepencil said...

Slick, slack, sleek... I'm your poetry SLAVE, because your words are a salve...

OK, now saliva is starting, LOL.

Really love the way you have with words, G. Peace, Amy

cyclopseven said...

plenty of fun with words. Interesting.

Jingle said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/thursday-poets-rally-week-31-october-21-27/
I invite you to attend Thursday Poets Rally week 31 hosted by Jingle!
sign in, link in a poem, visit and comment for 18 poets,
let me know when you are ready.
Thanks a lot.

OMJ said...

"the paper tears,
I watch the words fly away" - I can picture these words in flight!

Jeeves said...

I just love the idea of clouds hoarding up thoughts! As usual brilliant.