I pick that piece of paper
smooth it over my thighs
my palms leave sweaty marks
smudging the words
I shift the superfluous sentences
a semblance of sombre sobriquets jumps
out. as I reach out to strike out more
I hear a voice say out of nowhere-
"don't cut it slack for slickness and sleekness"
I pause. the paper tears,
I watch the words fly away
they will gather from the clouds
hoard it all for me
they are champions
for my impatience.
if there's one thing I have learned
"sleekness with slickness can't let to be slack"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I credit the sentence don't cut me slack for my slickness and sleekness to, well, he knows who! I simply edited it a bit.
34 comments:
clever paly on words. like the way you spin them like a slack sleek vortex
can't spell play...ah well..one thing I've learned is that I don't edit very good.
Very abstract --- I have read a lot of your pieces about writing ...
Love this dramatic enactment of word play!
What wonderful imagery! I love where this took me.
Wow! Slick, Sleek and slack
With words, you have a knack
Well done, as usual..
"Champions for my impatience" I like that! Thank you!
Your alliteration presents a challenge to read the poem aloud. Well done.
How very impressive words. Made me think way after midnight. Please have a good new week.
daily athens
A clever post! Awesome work! =)
-Weasel
A remarkable, powerful interaction with text. What words can do. Powerful stuff, friend.
Love the alliteration! Very nicely done.
A fun poem with the alliteration, but it seems very serious at the same time. Good job!
interesting..
A lovely poem about writing, I could both see and feel the moment and really like "I watch the words fly away they will gather from the clouds
hoard it all for me"
Beautiful :)
My favorite lines:
'smooth it over my thighs
my palms leave sweaty marks
smudging the words'
Really enjoyed where you took the prompt.
apt poem!
enjoyable read......
Title says it all. Wonderfully poetic phrase there. Enjoyed this a lot actually. Good job.
Regards
Luke @ WordSalad
http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/abscond/
http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/08/19/communication/
http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/06/26/257/
This reads aloud so well. Nicely done.
Victoria
ah yes, you 've captured the
joy of writing.
Succinct and so well expressed...loved the read. Thanks so much xx
Gautami I love the imagery in this.
Pamela
A slick and sleek composition
Good play with words...loved reading it... :)
thanks for the chuckle, your play with words tricked my mind and i had to laugh. Fun piece.
Nice! I love alliteration and the imagery in your poem~
Choicest words at play! Good going Gautami.
Lovely and creative. I like the images you conjure here. I enjoyed your take!
Slick, slack, sleek... I'm your poetry SLAVE, because your words are a salve...
OK, now saliva is starting, LOL.
Really love the way you have with words, G. Peace, Amy
plenty of fun with words. Interesting.
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/thursday-poets-rally-week-31-october-21-27/
I invite you to attend Thursday Poets Rally week 31 hosted by Jingle!
sign in, link in a poem, visit and comment for 18 poets,
let me know when you are ready.
Thanks a lot.
"the paper tears,
I watch the words fly away" - I can picture these words in flight!
I just love the idea of clouds hoarding up thoughts! As usual brilliant.
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