Wednesday, January 25, 2012

escape

under that tree I kept it hidden
the sheen of your sweat
which had flowed for me in desire.
who dug it out,
along with my sensuality
which I had  packed inside a bubble?
the air evokes you for me,
moving in a lumber way-
now it blows too fast
leaving a wreck behind.

"I will again create a bridge and reach out for you"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writing another keepsake poem was tough. I don't think I succeeded. Thanks We Write Poem for using my prompt for this week

25 comments:

Mendur said...

Fascinating use of the words, with a lot of imagery that simply would not have occurred to me to use with those words. Well done.

barbara said...

I like that sensuality packed in a bubble. Makes me think of glass ornaments--and Bubble Wrap.

nan said...

on the contrary, I think you succeeded! Lovely flow to this. Thank you for the great and challenging prompt!

flaubert said...

Gautami, you handle this type of writing beautifully. Nice imagery.

Pamela

Sheilagh Lee said...

Truly beautiful imagery.

Writer's Daybook said...

Lovely imagery and I like the idea of creating a bridge to reach out...

Brian Miller said...

creating bridges is what life is all about isnt it...

Ramesh Sood said...

I am so happy to be back here..this is pure magic..Gautami..

Carrie Burtt said...

Wonderful imagery in this beautiful poem Gautami!

Mary said...

Nice 'sensuality' here. Thanks for 'jamming' with us over at Poetry Jam. Beautifully written.

oldegg said...

I liked the sensual desire expressed in this piece that mirrors the feeling of being completely spent in your love but yearning for that moment again.

Margaret said...

Beautiful, but if he left her in a wreck the fist time, why would she want to revisit him?

vivinfrance said...

But you really did succeed. A lovely poem strongly sensual - what could be better than a poem for a keepsake!

irene said...

Seems very gusty, the sentiments.

Carrie said...

beautiful poem. I love the images that play in my mind after reading it.

Jingle Poetry At The Gooseberry Garden said...

amazing talent.



Hello, How is your day?

Hope all is well,
Appreciated your invaluable support to us,
Best regards.

Join us any time and share a verse or two,
Your talent pleases me and makes a huge difference too,

Hope to see you in soon,
Cheers,
xoxox

Doctor FTSE said...

Just full of lovely imagery

jaerose said...

The feelings you have evoked are so strong and lingering..a keepsake..for certain..Jae

Taylor Boomer said...

incredible imagery.

Lucy Westenra said...

Very accomplished poem.

Jinksy said...

A collage of love, no less...

Kathy Bischoping said...

You map those thin surfaces of air-tormented skin and sweat sheen superbly. A feather, it seems, could knock her over in this state.

Christine said...

reaching out always leaves the bridge intact, lovely poem

Summer Rain said...

which had flowed for me in desire.
who dug it out,
along with my sensuality
which I had packed inside a bubble?


love the lines, vivid imagery.

my heart's love songs on wordpress said...

definitely a successful poem! i love your portrayal of sensuality without being too explicit. the final line is a lovely expression of yearning.

thank you so much for your wonderful response to the Poetry Jam prompt.

dani ♥
my heart's love songs