under that tree I kept it hidden
the sheen of your sweat
which had flowed for me in desire.
who dug it out,
along with my sensuality
which I had packed inside a bubble?
the air evokes you for me,
moving in a lumber way-
now it blows too fast
leaving a wreck behind.
"I will again create a bridge and reach out for you"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Writing another keepsake poem was tough. I don't think I succeeded. Thanks We Write Poem for using my prompt for this week
25 comments:
Fascinating use of the words, with a lot of imagery that simply would not have occurred to me to use with those words. Well done.
I like that sensuality packed in a bubble. Makes me think of glass ornaments--and Bubble Wrap.
on the contrary, I think you succeeded! Lovely flow to this. Thank you for the great and challenging prompt!
Gautami, you handle this type of writing beautifully. Nice imagery.
Pamela
Truly beautiful imagery.
Lovely imagery and I like the idea of creating a bridge to reach out...
creating bridges is what life is all about isnt it...
I am so happy to be back here..this is pure magic..Gautami..
Wonderful imagery in this beautiful poem Gautami!
Nice 'sensuality' here. Thanks for 'jamming' with us over at Poetry Jam. Beautifully written.
I liked the sensual desire expressed in this piece that mirrors the feeling of being completely spent in your love but yearning for that moment again.
Beautiful, but if he left her in a wreck the fist time, why would she want to revisit him?
But you really did succeed. A lovely poem strongly sensual - what could be better than a poem for a keepsake!
Seems very gusty, the sentiments.
beautiful poem. I love the images that play in my mind after reading it.
amazing talent.
Hello, How is your day?
Hope all is well,
Appreciated your invaluable support to us,
Best regards.
Join us any time and share a verse or two,
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xoxox
Just full of lovely imagery
The feelings you have evoked are so strong and lingering..a keepsake..for certain..Jae
incredible imagery.
Very accomplished poem.
A collage of love, no less...
You map those thin surfaces of air-tormented skin and sweat sheen superbly. A feather, it seems, could knock her over in this state.
reaching out always leaves the bridge intact, lovely poem
which had flowed for me in desire.
who dug it out,
along with my sensuality
which I had packed inside a bubble?
love the lines, vivid imagery.
definitely a successful poem! i love your portrayal of sensuality without being too explicit. the final line is a lovely expression of yearning.
thank you so much for your wonderful response to the Poetry Jam prompt.
dani ♥
my heart's love songs
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