thousands of aeon have passed
I grope the air
thatched huts are just beyond that gate
forgotten splotchy hearth reminds me of
my fluttering heart in a rain laden day
a flash of iridescent stones blinds me
I run out of the gate
breathing into cold air
he watches me from above
I detest that condescending look on his face
"rebuild my a pedestal, I will look down upon you"
16 comments:
Strong writing, I can't stop reading it.
the fluttering
do you really think it's condescending? i think it's just supposed to be serious leadership.
days of cohan
Terrific combination of the wordle with the photo prompt. Your poem can stand without the image, but the photo does lend context to the ending lines. I don't know if I'd call it condescending, but Yul Brynner definitely looks pretty stern and intimidating in that poster.
Very good write with a good message, too!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/billy-bully-bull/
smiles,
smart words, wow.
Powerful write, Gautami.
Pamela
Enjoyed this... especially:
splotchy hearth reminds me of my fluttering heart in a rain laden day a flash of iridescent stones
nice...strong verse....condescending is not a good look to feel...
sad poem of flight - hard to flee a condescentding attitued in the best of times
amazing pen! I certainly would not want the faces in your image looking down on me. Fantastic write!
I picture a beautiful young horse,
who finally finds a way to get out
of captivity.
Very fine!
Interesting piece, powerful.
Best wishes
Wonderful imagery in this. I have read it several times. Love the photo!
Gautami,
Read all pending poems. I think I need to visit more often as when I read so many together it is not easy to decide which touched me more.
Take care
"my fluttering heart in a rain laden day" brings about a brilliant feel, sound, and vision.
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