This weeks' prompt is change. This is what came out of my thoughts.
......................................................................
Transposition
with blazing tranquility
i stare at space,
seeing the various changes
vividly inside my mind.
the purple shades,
the orange hues,
intense colours
of my life
passing by.
desolate thoughts’
i come out whole,
conceding decisively
my happiness
is what I am.
35 comments:
maybe you should dedicate this poem to Descarte.
The tranquility seem interrupted with the whirling colors, which creates in my mind a disconnect, but it seems to come back together at the end. Am I readin this correctly, is it what you meant?
Let us not put Descartes before des horse because his four rules were:
1 Never accept anything except clear and distinct ideas
2 Divide each problem into as many parts as are needed to solve it
3 Order your thoughts from simple to complex
4 Always check for oversights
et VOILA we have the perfect prescription for ruining a poem!
I really like it! Two non-poets disecting my poem. Welcome! Maybe both of you will help me write a thesis!
I dedicate this poem to you both!
Whoa- I was just going to write something simple like "I really liked this, Gautami!"
Ah well- I did, especially the last sentence.
Thanks!
the last two lines say it for me
and indeed for all of us
i like this very much, gautami.
great solution!
my happiness
is what I am
yes!
I like the idea of auras being what the speaker of the poem sees changing inside the mind.
I am depressed today but that poem cheered me some. The last few words make me feel better, like I am good enough however I am.
Brilliant! Love these lines:
"i come out whole,
conceding decisively
my happiness
is what I am."
wonderful as always
i agree
the happiness
line is punchy,
but taken on whole,
this bit 'intense colours of my life passing by' really hits the poetic mark, imo
very colorful, again -- nice work
/t.
Very nice.
Love you
Tank you
This has such a strong finish - quite decisive indeed!
I loved reading this!!
Lovely thoughts written eloquently and ended with a bang :)
true... my happiness is what I am...
perfect ending!
"am", or what I want to be. Love it!!
blazing tranquility - excellent!
The first two lines and the last two are so strong. A powerful poem indeed.
I'm very sensitive to color and hue and its emotional impact but I've never thought about it the way you've presented it. Great job!
Thanks for visiting today.
Hi G,
I like reading your process of change. I can imagine flashes or prisms of color whirling, dancing, beckoning and whatnot as you take charge and decide your path, in life: "Whole" not in partial shapes (indeciveness nor setbacks) Accepting oneself is essential to happiness. Nice response to this poetic prompt.
conceding decisively
my happiness is what I am
Wow, Gautami, that is powerful! It makes me want to be happy and in the end, that is what it is isn't it? Happiness is a decision. Thanks very much for these wonderful words.
shaking out
desolate thoughts’
i come out whole
Interesting lines, what a shout of positivity...refreshing.
I love the optimism here too - this is poetry as affirmation!
I like your ending and the line, "shaking out/desolate thoughts" I agree that I too like the optimism
I like this one a great deal! nice job Gautami. Hope you are well.
Wow.
Thank you for stopping by my blog. I do see what you mean.
Thank you.
Were you reading MY mind? Jesting of course! Those colors walking together bring me immense happiness! A life without color is love without passion! Love your poem...with a powerful ending!
"my happiness is what I am"
BRAVO to Self Realization! We now need to practice Happiness continously to Create bigger Changes.
I Am
Last four lines for me as well! I agree. Wonderful.
I love your poem gautami, you had me at the last two lines. It would seem we roll around in this vast universe only to become the best thing of all. Happines! Lovely
love-bd
Hi guatami,
I'm clapping, too. Lovely and hopeful. Especially taken with "conceding decisively/
my happiness", and the colors to set tone. My mind went to a glorius sunrise.
A cheerfully meditative and satisfyingly conclusive poem!
colorfully manic!
Thanks my friends for your comments. Sorry for not replying individually.
I am glad I found PT and via that, most of you.
I salute my old friends and welcome new ones.
Cheers!
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