Naive
Station
for a worldly wise male
it was a blow to his ego.
defending himself
was beneath his station.
how could he been so naïve?
with clenched teeth, closed fist-
he lay down seeking oblivion.
Eyes were squeezed shut,
tears lurked at edges-
sleep was not to come.
when they took him to asylum
he was beyond gossip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As it was BAFAB week from Jan 1-7, I bought books for my nephews, nieces and friends. I donated 50+ assorted books to an old age Home. I suppose I was just plain lucky to win three books I had put my name for. Thanks Melody, Dewey and Rhinoa. I look forward to read those. "The Road" was a coveted one!
The Road by Cormac McCarthy from Melody's Reading Corner
Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher from Dewey
Magical tales by R J Stewart from Rhinoa's Ramblings
33 comments:
I find this a little disturbing!
Perhaps it's too near to home for comfort!!
I can't post in Wordpress for some reason
Idol Thoughts
I know, it hits hard..
It was what happened to someone I know...
Powerful and disturbing as truefaith said. Like your blog. All the best with the short story!! :)
i am throwing pieces of gold at this post. beautiful in it's truth.
and i laughed out loud at your comment to my post. you have officially given me my "first" laugh of the day and for this? i thank you!
The person this happened to, it is such a shame.
Your words though, are perfect, Gautami.
Are you sure that you don't live in America? Very very sad to say that
Haunting and devastating story. Your words tell the story well.
Goodness Gautami. Such bleak prose. I wonder what prompted his despair?
(((((hugs)))))
how strong ego and social correctness can be, even to the point of destroying lives. As always, power beneath the words, power in the imagery.
Anthropologists speculate that GOSSIP was the prime motivation behind the invention of language.
Early Hominids had ample sounds for communicating but to get the scoop on what their mates were doing and with whom they needed more details.
All of the insane interpersonal challenges that we face today were in full force back then when we were living in extended clans. Luckily Mother Nature devised clever ways for males and females to sneak around and engage in clandestine dalliances back at the cave..so to speak.
Creating killer sperm for males and increasing conception during orgasm ensured that secret partners could trade up their DNA with better partners.
I didnt mean ur blog is disturbing. truth sure is!
I felt a bit sad reading this but these things do happen.
You know when words evoke emotion, you have done it....let me say this you have done it!
This is powerful on so many levels. I see mental health, I see veterans, I see so many people this could apply to.
You touched me. I like that.
Great job on donating books, always a great cause.
Hope you enjoy the 3 you won, The Road, it is interesting.
Penelope Anne
http://wannabeawritersomeday.blogspot.com/2008/01/3ww-elizas-story-continues.html
That's great, Gautami! I can relate to it, all right. Won't get into why, but it really touched a chord.
As for BAFAB, between being out of town and everything else (trying to catch up, mainly), I couldn't even think about it this quarter. Next time!
this is the precise reason i do not believe that humans should feel they are ever above reproach... anything.. any moment.. your fault or not.. things change.....very thought provoking guatami....
This is power-packed! I loved it, and there is nothing else I can think to say, as I'm still absorbing the energy of the words here on my end of the world.
beautiful..sometimes we're just having a bad day and no matter how we try to stay status quo...it never works...reminds me of the movie a beautiful mind...just recently saw it for the first time...worldly wisdom can become too heavy to carry...
I enjoy coming by your blog and appreciate your regular reads and comments at bes as well.
Sad tale well written. There must be lots of folks who are clutching the edge.
interesting...
I want to laugh cos the poem is funny especially at the end...but definitely a serious matter.
I really liked what you did with "station": totally different take on it than I would have thought of.
power, as all your poems are
Very clever Tami. I loved this a lot.
I am still swimming with my COLD and should own stock in tissues.
BTW, how is the weather were you are?????
love,Melanie
Tami, (I hope it's ok to use the diminutive) that was a "deep dive," and I appreciate your sharing it with us. It seems like Bone touched a number of persons' nerves with these three words. Again, thanks.
Here are two articles from the Hindu - you may have seen them, but I thought I'd pass them along:
The Art of Public Utterances
and
Tryst with Indian Poetry
Oh, you sure can use words well! Nice and tight!
I appreciate the power you've packed into so few words.
Poor soul, locked up because of lies. You tell a powerful story in your brief poem.
Hello Gautami,
Thanks for welcoming me to Three Word Wednesday. You are the first to do so.
I was never into poems as a child because I can't understand most of the time what the poet was trying to say. I can understand your poem here though. Thanks for the powerful words and thoughts here.
I think I am more of a short story type of person. :D
PS: The nickname option is open now. :)
Serena
powerful and... yes, a little disturbing.
Hi Gautami! You created powerful and vivid imagery. Well done. I'm so sorry this happened to someone you know.
Wonderfully vivid poem for 3WW. You always word out the best scenes with the words you are given.
The Road is one of the best written books I have read in a while. It has such vivid imagery and depth that I will not soon forget the book. For anyone who hasn't read this please consider it. Have a nice weekend, Gautami.
Wow, you're a popular girl! :)
defending himself
was beneath his station
I guess it is my habit to pick out certain lines, and I think I could ponder those two for an hour. They could fit so many situations, or simply the one you're writing about.
Thanks for sharing your words always.
wonderful! I have no idea where you get your ideas but they are truely amazing!
I wish I would have known it was BAFAB week sooner!! Darn!
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