Thursday, January 31, 2008
singing cherries---Friday 5/Friday Fiction
with his fingers in that blue porcelain cherry bowl
he picked a few, popped those into his mouth.
without discarding pips, he started singing
those notes going off key.
Unaware of those strange stares he kept on,
lost in a world of his own.
No more cherries left now, he suddenly stopped,
finding himself in a beach-side restaurant.
all were quiet save him; he wished for the ground
to crack up and swallow him whole
without a single word he got up.
walking as hurriedly as the sand would allow him.
waiter bore the brunt of it
as he had forgotten to pay for those cherries.
Friday 5: brunt, crack, key, cherry, discard
[Fiction] Friday Challenge for February, 1 2008: Your character was lost in her own thoughts. When she snaps back to reality, she realizes she was singing out loud. Unfortunately, she wasn't somewhere private. How embarrassing... Take it from there.
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23 comments:
What a wonderful poem/ story you have given here today. Your writing creates such a vivid picture. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day. Happy Writing~
cute one!! :)
evoked a good visual. I love people watching.
hugs for you
i loved this moment
(and definitely empathised with the character)
thank you
Tasty!
very cute guatami... i agree that would be embarrassing.....
Oh, that's great! You know I like story poems and this one just rocks.
nice story/poem. I enjoy reading it. thanks.
Holy smokes! You are good! I'm impressed.
Also impressed that you read 11 books this month. I made it to 10 - which is a new record for me.
Another interesting, quirky tale from you, gautami.I can always count on you to entertain me, or reveal something new.
That was really nice - you sure know how to paint a picture with your words!
You've done agreat job with the prompt words. I liked especially, your use of the word 'key' and the poor waiter bearing 'the brunt of it'. :o)
I echo watermaid. This was a wonderful combination of the two prompts.
Could happen to anyone I suppose. funny scene.
Funny scene! Good job using both prompts...!
bummer for the waiter. Especially since he had to suffer the off-key singing.
I felt sorry for the waiter also
You make everything come so alive
as always your words portray vivid pictures... i cannot help but to laugh ... it was that blue porcelain bowl...
I just love to people watch and catching people behaving naturally and without affectation is so filled with potential for storytelling. Children are the best when they act in unaffected ways. Adults are harder so so much better when they ARE caught unaware. Nice little story, this.
Such fun, wonder if he will eat cherries in public again.
Really clever! A lovely piece as always
oh... you make me empathise with the character
Sadly I don't eat cherries even in private. Yuck!
But a lovely post.
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