Awkward
Kitchen
Obsessed
His birthday. A non-existent one, if it ever was
Throughout the day, his movements had been awkward
Nonetheless, his father had not noticed
He never did. They seldom exchanged any words
He did not even remember why he had stopped talking to his old man
Lately he had been having strange dreams
Cats, eagles, fishes, mythical dragons too
Fine sheen of dust mixed with spotless snow
Sticking like fish scales on walls of his inner mind
He was obsessed with it, this need to escape
Sliding the kitchen knife into his socks, just in case
Picked up is his backpack; he sneaked out in the dark.
Pulling on jacket closer, he kicked at the pebbles on the way
He was not much surprised when a black tomcat said,
“What took you so long?”
23 comments:
This is fantastic...you used these words in a way I would not have thought!!!
wow - I love it!
(I'm a dreamer too) Very surreal - where did that come from? Could be the decongestants I'm taking, but I swear that cat was talking!!
As last week, I can't leave a link in Wordpress - I think its this PC at work (thanks ul for the tip)
Love the ending! This would be great as a story or even a book. I think you've found the path on this one Gautami.
((((((hugs)))))
Rose
xo
Tami! Terrific! I hope we get to see where this goes.
Powerful words gautami. Loved the ending! :)
I am astounded by this piece - there is so, so much in there that I had to read it over several times, enjoying it more each time. Wonderful!
I love the nonsensical nature of this; not that it is silly but that it is fun. Way fun.
MORE! PLEASE. I am really curious where you would take this....
Cool! sounds like an Alice in Wonderland adventure. I like this, gautami.
This left me wanting more. Nice prose.
And then? And then? This is great!
this gave me chills! so beautifully descriptive and dark. i loved it.
very nicely done.... i hope he never meets up with "just in case....."
dark and surreal. love it!
sure it's not the cheshire cat? :)
I swore I commented to this yesterday. Is there a blog gremlin? lol Enjoyed this.
By the way, I responded to your query at BES. Thanks for reading and commenting.
this was great!!! I loved it!
I loved your story...I believe many of us are obsessed with the need to escape.
S
I forgot to click my nickname...[blushing]. Thanks for the link and you are getting one in return.
S
An enjoyable read, leaves one wanting to read on further into the story
Very interesting. I was engrossed, trying to figure out what was going to happen.
lots there...the ending was beautiful...young lad on a journey...
Thanks for visiting wordsetcetera. I love this poem, especially the ending. Very visual.
Yes I know the need to escape :)
Love the ending
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