A series.....blank paper-
words
tornadoing in
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tornado-
swirling storm
shuts out
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shut out-
palm open
outwards
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
outwards-
dance steps
merge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
merge-
with you
only I
To be continued....
22 comments:
You have hit your haikuing stride!
The series reads like a "swirling storm" "open outwards" til - the "merge", or maybe even more.
Keep going -
I like how this flows from that last word to the first of each succeeding haiku. Looking forward to the TBC.
This says much without taking up a lot of words.
You've made every word count there.
I have read some of your posts. There were Zen Moments in my life when I used to visit OSHO in seventies and eighties. I would like to revisit your writing.
If you like short stories and paintings, then a visit to my blogs would be an interesting one for you.
Naval Langa
SHORT STORIES by NAVAL LANGA
PAINTINGS GALLERIES
great talent...
This is awesome...I love how you let the last word carry you forward to the next thought. So cleverly written and filled with meaning!
This flows very nicely.
i like this style alot :)
Gotta love this free feeling - great job - I'll watch for the next...
btw, Wagner twittered this and I twittered Poetry Train Revisited.
Essential and pure!
I like the daisy-chained haiku form you are building. Wonderful creativity.
very good.
they are all so ... zen beautiful!
Beautiful words!
what an interesting way of doing it! I'm looking forward to the rest. :)
I'm going to say something here that I've been thinking about for a long time now, and just go and say it,'cause I think you can take it! And I wouldn't say anything, but by commenting on my blog, you've opened the door, and of course it's my experience, no one else's...that I know of.
I love your words, they are at times pure sun, but you're distracting me by leaving poetic comments on other blogs...that you're inspired in writing them is fantastic, but shouldn't you post them on your blog and say: Inspired by and give the link. Because by doing what you do, which in principle is lovely, you take away from the poet's blog that I'm visiting at that moment...
Of course I'd mind my own business but you've done it on mine, so I feel the right to say so. You are a great poet. Must you respond in poetry to people's poem...LIke I say maybe others love it, but I don't, it distracts me fromt the poet I'm visiting at that moment.
Having said that, I like your style ;)
Lorraine, your photographs inspire me as much as your words. However, no more instant haiku from me on YOUR blog space.
:)
I enjoy when my haiku inspire you to leave your own poems in return. It helps build a spot - for gatherings.
I agree, however, that if you post those poems back to your own blog, it is important to acknowledge the inspiration through a link.
Keep 'em coming.
so interesting, gautami!
this is a poetry train. :)
it reminds me of something similar we did at an old poetry forum. some member will start a new verse using the last line of the preceding poem that was posted. the results can be hilarious but it was all fun. :)
so interesting, gautami!
this is a poetry train. :)
it reminds me of something similar we did at an old poetry forum. some member will start a new verse using the last line of the preceding poem that was posted. the results can be hilarious but it was all fun. :)
The first one is excellent! (Not to say the others aren't too!)
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