Wednesday, September 19, 2007

ambiguously so---for want of better title...3WW


Ambiguous
Nine
Slept

with dried tears, she wept
tired, clasping non-descriptive
toy to her cheek, she slept

at last, when clock struck nine,
her world fallen apart. the epistle
had hit home taking all shine

from her. future was uncertain-
with most part being ambiguous
childhood no longer sustained.

in span of few hours, all was lost
her parents killed, her house blown
lifetime gone in mindless blast.

he watched her sleep, smoothing
her frowned brow, he smiled tenderly,
his hardened heart finally melting-

‘clutched his new daughter to heart’

20 comments:

Jo said...

at last, when clock struck nine,
her world fallen apart. the epistle
had hit home taking all shine from her

This is lovely, so lovely. I enjoyed your take....

RomanceWriter said...

loved this line
the epistle
had hit home taking all shine

from her.

gorgeous.

Brian said...

The ending brings closure to the poem.

sage said...

nicely done!

TC said...

I feel somewhat guilty finding beauty in something so sad, but you did an excellent job with this. A tragic event.

tumblewords said...

Some great lines in here, for sure - nice take on this prompt!

boneman said...

I feel so small next to work like this.
Nice piece, Guatami. So emotional, so moving.

Shephard said...

very nicely executed. :)
~S

Ther said...

i like! =)

paisley said...

such a sad truth... may none of us ever have to live with the realization that all we have ever known,,, is gone.....

A Tag Along Traveler said...

wow I have to say this has got to be one of my favorites...the emotion was just so raw...I love that someone was watching over her.

Steve said...

It oozes emotion both sweet and bitter.

julia said...

I'm very impressed by the poem that came out of your three-word prompt. Definitely has a raw emotion to it. Wonderful, Gautami.

Writer on Board said...

Nice. Beautiful.

But please stop emailing me things like this:

as an afterthought
that reminds me, ennui setting in,
apparently, for no reason, I have been bored
with you of late.

you shameless lion you.

polona said...

so sad and yet something beautiful to be found...

Bone said...

Love the way this reads, with all articles removed.

And I agree with Jo and Romancewriter about my favorite part.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

she slept

at last, when clock struck nine,
her world fallen apart. the epistle
had hit home taking all shine

from her.

Beautiful, Gautami

Michelle Johnson said...

What words can I leave here that everyone else before me hasn't already said? This is so sad, beautiful and happy all at once. You are truly a gifted writer.

Michelle Johnson

Clare said...

Hi Gautami! Devastating and heartbreaking about all the children who have lost parents and other family and friends due to "mindless blast". You wrote this so beautifully, and I was so relieved this little girl has a new home.
:)

Gay said...

Beautiful emotion... raw, bare, sad and through its honesty, true beauty. Love it.