eyes gaping so wide,
purple miasma visible
gloominess is tangible.
rolling over and chased,
innermost thoughts glaze.
moon hides behind clouds
voices are still so loud.
yet silence speaks faster
akin to a roller coaster.
solitary quietness deafens
agitation has no defence.
ah, cacophony echoes
that state of restive pathos.
how long must I carry this load?
insomnia! For you I write this ode!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By penning down odes, I am trying to compete with Keats...
Posting it without fine editing.Click for more poetry...
20 comments:
I liked these lines:
"purple miasma visible
gloominess is tangible"
Makes me feel like I could wrestle with insomnia, rather than be taunted by an invisible foe.
Ooh, I can totally relate to this one! It really does feel like wrestling with the night, doesn't it? I'm tired and frustrated just reading this. :D
For over a decade now my cranial sleep pattern mechanism thingamabob has independently adopted and instituted an alloted rate of 5 hours of Z's per night.
Apparently this is normal and does not warrant medical attention but it does explain my chronic forgetfulness and my inability to concentr....
((crash))
I really like this. Why must the voices get so loud when we try to sleep? Guess, they are tired of being ignored.
rolling over and chased,
innermost thoughts glaze.
moon hides behind clouds
voices are still so loud.
I can so relate to this!
I know this so well of late.
Insomnia is a wonderful condition to have if you are a vampire, or a chai walla
i'm another sufferer
so well done
(insomnia is not worth losing sleep over) :)
It always seem to me that Insomnia is an external creature. Your poem has shone that it is true. :)
Oh my gosh, I can so relate to this one...there's nothing worse than that tossing and turning all night long when the body yearns to sleep. You captured it perfectly!
thank you for the dedication to us insomniacs everywhere. its an exquisite piece.
I really can see all the turning and twisting!!Great poem and really realistic!!
Wait. Didn't you write a poem about insomnia before, Gautami? Or am I remembering someone else?
At any rate, I was working on some fiction the other day, and I had the characters move into a quiet hallway, after the noise of a nightclub and the silence did the same thing. Grew and took on its own life until it roared.
Nice to see someone else understand how that can be. I mean, it's silence. It should be that way.
Yet... it's not.
I suffer from insomnia like you wouldn't believe. Exactly, exactly how I feel.
Great poem.
I finally posted one. www.amyruttan.com/blog
My new home.
The last verse spoke volumes to me:
ah, cacophony echoes
that state of restive pathos.
how long must I carry this load?
insomnia! For you I write this ode!
It's my mind that won't let me sleep and you caught this in your poem.
Its amazing how you've described something that is within the mind.
I particularly liked the phrase "Quiteness deafens"
Wonderful ode. Exact description of imsomnia!
Definitely relate to this. Have struggled with insomina all my life. I like the same lines as julia quotes.
i also can relate to this one and love every line of the poem.
Great poem, I'm a frequent victim of insomnia myself, and you've described it perfectly. :)
Wonderful poem even if without editing. You always have a great knack for words.
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