Original
Racket
Skipping
camera prying
even in womb-
sacred original home.
while you exist-
no skipping from
spying racket.
after your demise
dignity rightfully yours-
divested brutally.
scouring through
supra nakedness
of your skeleton
death offers no escape-
grave dug, bones dissected;
genes analysed.
ubiquitous marketers
hound universally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't end it the way I wanted to. Somehow, words fail me today. Consider it an unpoem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wrote about my friend in my last 3WW. After her reports came in, her doctors say although it is going to be long haul , she is going to be absolutely fine. I am very glad for her and her family. Thanks to you all for your support.
25 comments:
I like this Gautami. It speaks to the human need for both privacy and discovery. We tend to want everything but balk at the ultimate price. This is really good, you should be proud. Not all poems have to be villenelles or whatevers. ;)
Rose
xo
Rose, you got what I was trying to say. thanks. I thought I could not get that across.
If you notice, for a few weeks now, I have stayed awa from structured poetry. Free verse give free rein to my mind.
For a while now, I have shunned discipling my mind.
prodded and probed, are we,, from womb to grave,, and for some,,, beyond...
Love this stanza
after your demise
dignity rightfully yours-
divested brutally.
Very touching.
Very good, thought provoking and slightly chilling.
Written quite well even if you can't find the words.
this was very moving! I think that you articulated your point very well. Interesting, I would like to know how the poem would have gone without the 3 words in there... lol I really like this one. its sooo full of emotion!
Well done!
You touch me like you Genome me!
Does this mean that you are concerned about stem cell research?
Thanks to a magnificent documentary on the telly I have witnessed the internal confluence of participating naughty bits which immediately precedes conception. I'm talking about the actual mechanics here, that were clearly visible through the lens of an inserted, microscopic, camera. Fascinating.
This certainly took a great deal of the 'magic' out of the Miracle of Birth. However it did make me realise that the other 1.6 Million species have pretty much used the same method for Billions of years and think nothing of it..
other than they need to do it.
We humans love to probe.
There I could have just said that.
D'oh!
thank you for the poem
and the good news re your friend
There you go! Privacy is a thing of the past and there is no getting around it. This is a great response to the prompt - so original and well-done! AND good new about your friend!
ubiquitous marketers
hound universally
the sales all surmised.
although I liked the comment at Kate's, which also used the 3WW system.
Gautami, you underestimated the strength of your words, I think. Your poem today is more than the sum of its words.
I read the note about your friend... it felt positive.
I think you got your point across just fine. In fact, I don't know the right words to tell you how profound I felt after reading it. ...and that's a good thing.
I am happy to hear you received good news about your friend. I hope she is finding a bit more privacy in her recovering days. Your poem was very deep and universal. Keep up the good work.
Michelle
Sometimes we're just not ready for a poem to end. It will end when it's time comes, as most things do.
It is not just our physical presence that gets poked, prodded and probed from birth forward. Some politically minded religious leaders want dominion over our spiritual selves everlasting. Where does it end?
Very thought provoking poem, as always.
is that similar to an "un-birthday?"
I thought the line about not even getting piece in death was very sad. Isn't that the least we should be able to hope for?
I somehow missed the comment about your friend the first time: soooo glad to hear it :)
//scouring through
supra nakedness
of your skeleton// ---> Heavy!
I think it turned out well just as it is, Gautami. Even if you couldn't find the ending you wanted, we are left with the words you did write to ponder. And I love the word "ubiquitous." Hmm, that could be a future 3WW word :)
Also, very glad to hear that your friend received good news.
Hi Gautami! Very moving and poignant. And "sacred original home" is such a beautiful line. I really like this poem and the depth in it.
I love 3 word Wednesday! What a great idea. I'll have to try to remember it. :)
Michele says hello! So does my Concoction Maker!
~S
Unpoem or not, it's really insightful - it touched me.
I'm glad your friend will, eventually, be alright.
Does 3WW have to be verse?
glad to here that the doctor thinks things will end well!!!
great unpoem, loved the last to stanzas!!!
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