Saturday, April 12, 2008

children's day out---Writers Island

bottles filled with ice-cold water
hampers packed with fresh food
towels, sheets all neatly folded
waiting to be picked up, raring
to go, for that much needed picnic
in the ruined forts in theoutskirts
of the city, to escape for only a day
from the hustle-bustle of daily life

kids were boisterous, filled with joy
each one was up well before dawn
happy to carry all the stuff to the car
squabbling for that all favorite seat
she locked up the doors, soon on the way
despite the noise, listening to songs.
rare moments indeed to have a whole day

with herself, spending time with kids
work has this habit of percolating
everywhere, unwanted, unavoidable
but for today, she left it behind, vowing
to give all to the children and herslf
with no worries of daily drugery
in the morning, no was was up and about
driving was hassle-free, in the empty roads

humming to herself, she kept to her lane
not anticipating the crash of metals,
screams before calm. out of nowhere
a truck without headlights had hit head-on
leaving broken limbs, scattered hampers
souls already on a flight to the unknown.


Most accidents in India happen in the early mornings and trucks are involved. This somewhat depicts one such incident.


ratanaong said...

You've painted the scene so well with your words. Didn't see the tragedy coming at the ending. Touching post!

jadey said...

wow caught me off guard. Great post.

Suma said...

oh!! didn't expect that...

Jeques said...

It is sad and affecting.

I've been trying to stay away lately from sad endings seeing them even in real life.

This poem has effectively achieve the impact as intended. But I would still prefer happy endings.

In fiction and in non-fiction, I still believe that we have in our hands the power to create happy endings.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

MissGuided said...


You caught me off guard too.

While I was reading your words, I found myself thinking happy thoughts and actually had a smile on my face.

Then wham ..... back to reality.

I still think it's wonderful peice and always enjoy reading you postings.

Crafty Green Poet said...

I didn't expect the sad ending either. Though i think Jeques is right in that we have the power to make happy endings, the fact is that in reality things so often end badly and we can't shy away from that.

PoisOn CoAtEd ELiXir said...

Beautifully carved.

shubd07 said...

Hello Gautami

You built up the mood of the picnic so well that the impact at the end indeed was shattering :(

Well written .

Thanks for your visit.

Whitesnake said...

I EXPECT nothing but the best.

You did NOT disappoint!

Pauline said...

The beginning was so lulling, so well rendered that the end was a complete shock. And how like life, the sadness hitting us over the head when we least expect it.

Lion Chiller said...

A twist in the tail... flight of a different kind! gr8 post!

anthonynorth said...

A beautiful tale turned to reality - perfectly.

Ghost Particle said...

didnt see the ending coming...but it was well put in a dark way. roads and humans...i dont know what else to say.

Linda Jacobs said...

Oh, my god! I've got goosebumps! This is so well done! Reality certainly does bite!

sage said...

you've captured the excitement and energy--of both the kids and mother (or teacher?), a joy that is cut short. Good job.

Just Jen said...

what a shocking and depressing ending!
Such a beautiful day....I guess you never know!

keith hillman said...

I wasn't expecting that! The ending came as quite a shock.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Wow! flight to the unknown - how true and we've all got to face it yet...

J.C. Montgomery said...

I'm moved. And speechless.

Geraldine said...

What a tragic, touching story. You've have captured the sequence of the day and this terrible event,so well.

Constance said...

I'm always struck by the thought that, no matter how careful you are, sometimes our life (and death) is not up to us...

b said...

that crash
rang in my ears
my worst fear
even with grandchildren
in my car.


Cricket's Hearth said...

Yes, you caught me off guard indeed. I was so wrapped up in the joy of taking "flight" from the daily grind that I didn't see the truck coming! I would love to have you check out my new blog, Slice of Life Sunday, and see if one of the prompts inspire you.

polona said...

the anticipation of nice things to come shattered abruptly by the accident... sadly, this happens all too often in real life.
shocking but excellent!

shubd07 said...

Hello Gautami

Thanks for for your previous visit . I have another poem for the same WI prompt of "Flight"

Hope you will look it up :)

black coffee said...

wow! a very different take on the prompt.
very poignant.

Rambler said...

did not expect this ending..

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Definitely vivid, but my brain's already churning, trying to figure out how to stop this from happening so often.

Fenny said...

Shock ... I didn't see that coming at all

"souls already on a flight to the unknown"

... what beautiful use of the word flight here

Thanks for this one!

susiej said...

I did not see this coming. Such a beautiful, tragic story.

texasblu said...

Oh my - eminds me of some friends that just passed away last summer on their way to vacation with family - brutal, yet real. Very sobering.

lissa said...

what sad end, though I wish it wasn't so

Lucy said...

oh my goodness. I also NEVER anticipated this story would be a tragedy. excellent tale of woe.

tumblewords said...

Oh, no! I was just cruising along waiting for more good stuff. Well done piece - that's how life is, isn't it? Just cruisin' and then wham!

Aaarti said...

Wow, that was beautiful deep and so true.. could almost imagine the whole thing unfolding...

so true, abt the accidents..