bottles filled with ice-cold water
hampers packed with fresh food
towels, sheets all neatly folded
waiting to be picked up, raring
to go, for that much needed picnic
in the ruined forts in theoutskirts
of the city, to escape for only a day
from the hustle-bustle of daily life
kids were boisterous, filled with joy
each one was up well before dawn
happy to carry all the stuff to the car
squabbling for that all favorite seat
she locked up the doors, soon on the way
despite the noise, listening to songs.
rare moments indeed to have a whole day
with herself, spending time with kids
work has this habit of percolating
everywhere, unwanted, unavoidable
but for today, she left it behind, vowing
to give all to the children and herslf
with no worries of daily drugery
in the morning, no was was up and about
driving was hassle-free, in the empty roads
humming to herself, she kept to her lane
not anticipating the crash of metals,
screams before calm. out of nowhere
a truck without headlights had hit head-on
leaving broken limbs, scattered hampers
souls already on a flight to the unknown.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Most accidents in India happen in the early mornings and trucks are involved. This somewhat depicts one such incident.
34 comments:
You've painted the scene so well with your words. Didn't see the tragedy coming at the ending. Touching post!
wow caught me off guard. Great post.
oh!! didn't expect that...
sad!!!
It is sad and affecting.
I've been trying to stay away lately from sad endings seeing them even in real life.
This poem has effectively achieve the impact as intended. But I would still prefer happy endings.
In fiction and in non-fiction, I still believe that we have in our hands the power to create happy endings.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
Gautami
You caught me off guard too.
While I was reading your words, I found myself thinking happy thoughts and actually had a smile on my face.
Then wham ..... back to reality.
I still think it's wonderful peice and always enjoy reading you postings.
I didn't expect the sad ending either. Though i think Jeques is right in that we have the power to make happy endings, the fact is that in reality things so often end badly and we can't shy away from that.
Prose!
Beautifully carved.
Hello Gautami
You built up the mood of the picnic so well that the impact at the end indeed was shattering :(
Well written .
Thanks for your visit.
I EXPECT nothing but the best.
You did NOT disappoint!
The beginning was so lulling, so well rendered that the end was a complete shock. And how like life, the sadness hitting us over the head when we least expect it.
A twist in the tail... flight of a different kind! gr8 post!
A beautiful tale turned to reality - perfectly.
didnt see the ending coming...but it was well put in a dark way. roads and humans...i dont know what else to say.
Oh, my god! I've got goosebumps! This is so well done! Reality certainly does bite!
you've captured the excitement and energy--of both the kids and mother (or teacher?), a joy that is cut short. Good job.
I wasn't expecting that! The ending came as quite a shock.
Wow! flight to the unknown - how true and we've all got to face it yet...
I'm moved. And speechless.
What a tragic, touching story. You've have captured the sequence of the day and this terrible event,so well.
www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com
I'm always struck by the thought that, no matter how careful you are, sometimes our life (and death) is not up to us...
that crash
rang in my ears
my worst fear
even with grandchildren
in my car.
b
Yes, you caught me off guard indeed. I was so wrapped up in the joy of taking "flight" from the daily grind that I didn't see the truck coming! I would love to have you check out my new blog, Slice of Life Sunday, and see if one of the prompts inspire you. http://sliceoflifesunday.wordpress.com
the anticipation of nice things to come shattered abruptly by the accident... sadly, this happens all too often in real life.
shocking but excellent!
Hello Gautami
Thanks for for your previous visit . I have another poem for the same WI prompt of "Flight"
Hope you will look it up :)
Thanks
http://la-muse07.blogspot.com/2007/11/eagle.html
wow! a very different take on the prompt.
very poignant.
did not expect this ending..
Definitely vivid, but my brain's already churning, trying to figure out how to stop this from happening so often.
Shock ... I didn't see that coming at all
"souls already on a flight to the unknown"
... what beautiful use of the word flight here
Thanks for this one!
I did not see this coming. Such a beautiful, tragic story.
Oh my - eminds me of some friends that just passed away last summer on their way to vacation with family - brutal, yet real. Very sobering.
what sad end, though I wish it wasn't so
oh my goodness. I also NEVER anticipated this story would be a tragedy. excellent tale of woe.
Oh, no! I was just cruising along waiting for more good stuff. Well done piece - that's how life is, isn't it? Just cruisin' and then wham!
Wow, that was beautiful deep and so true.. could almost imagine the whole thing unfolding...
so true, abt the accidents..
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