Thursday, April 10, 2008

slithering snakes

strange hissing sounds
sure, had brought me here this night
sultry atmospheric feelings in my heart

as if tearing through barbed wire
my skin twitched
In every pore and every nerve.

withholding to the carved door
I strived for sanity even though
I was spinning- hard and fast-

snakes slithered at my feet
coming in hoards
from their opened underground caves

fearing the darkness, I fell on the doorstep
rolling into fetal position,
willing the reptiles away

"when daylight broke, I was entwined
by ropes of my own thoughts"


Lines have been taken from Paisley, Mariacristina, Lirone, Writerwoman, and Lissa for Patchwork Poetry!


Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm very impressed by how you put this did you know where to go looking for the lines, it is well-stitched too.

lissa 07 said...

very well done, all the lines sounded just right

I like the ending, I think that's the best line, I think I had that same dream and I'm also terribly afraid of snakes so you dive into that fear quite well

Anonymous said...

oops, again I forgot to leave a direct URL, which I'm trying to do with Blogger blogs cause I really think people don't care much to browse my blogger profile page

WH said...

Very strong imagery here throughout. Excellent work!

Crafty Green Poet said...

it is well stitched! Also makes me feel a bit queasy, all those snakes together,,,,

Tumblewords: said...

Nicely done! Slithering snakes and ropes of thought! Nice!

C. Elizabeth said...

I really enjoyed this. We poets are weird- consumed by our own thoughts... love it!

Anonymous said...

It's great how you wove these lines into an integral whole!

The Maggots

Linda Jacobs said...

Fantastic ending and I love all the "s" sounds in here! Gave me chills!

Anonymous said...

I like where all these lines took you, gautami. I still haven't posted mine. It's fun, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

This poem scared me. Nice job!

writerwoman said...

Very intense. The imagery of the snakes makes this poem have a primal feeling to it.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

That worked out really well, Gautami. What fantastic imagery, as others have said. Mostly, though, this was really sensory -- sultry atmospheric feelings in my heart.

Wow. What a line!

Romeo Morningwood said...


Unknown said...

Great team work :D

anthonynorth said...

Loved that. And very apt. Myth and mind are so closely related.

ozymandiaz said...

such imagery. Great movement and transition.
Been there too

Anya Padyam said...

It is really amazing the way you have stringed together those different lines; great work!

Whitesnake said...

This is ssssssssuperb!

However I do feel taking a ssssshot at sssssnakes is not in ones best interest essssspecially while sssstanding in front of one.

Chief CEO
Snakes Worldwide Inc.

dsnake1 said...

thiss is nice, esspecially the ending. :)

polona said...

nightmarish stuff... well done!