Tuesday, April 08, 2008

signs of truth

Don't we all have such moments when we stare at nothing, our thoughts jumbled? We search for signs in our minds eye to give us a clue. To proceed in which direction. When I do not know what to do, I open up any book and try to decipher what to do. Maybe it is weird. Maybe not. Most of the times, I do get answers. Certain images form which apparantly do not have any meaning, overlapping fast moving pictures, resplendent. In those, we can find hidden truth about our destiny. We do have choices which we exercise at our discretion. However, sometimes those choices lead us to some other way, which we had not anticipated or planned.

Why am I saying all this here? I am not getting philosophical or anything. I suppose, I am getting withdrawal symptoms for moving house. Everything is finalised and I now am kind of feeling sad and nostalgic. I have lived in this house for the last 14 years. It is my parent's house. Difficult to move, considering that. One good thing is, my mom is moving along with me. I can't think of living apart from her as of now. We are moving to be nearer my youngest brother. Being with family is important. We would staying very near and yet have our own space. I feel elated as well as sad. Normal, don't you think?

22 comments:

paisley said...

i admire your sense of family,, i do not by any stretch of the imagination want to live with my mother,, but i wish that we had a closeness that could endure such close approximation... very nice thoughts....

watermaid said...

Moving house is near the top of the list when it comes to stressful events. I never thought I'd live with my mother - I left home at the earliest possible moment but now she's spending her final years here with me. People further east do seem to have much more of a sense of family.

Leigh Lear said...

change is always hard, whether happy or sad change, it is change none the less.

Michelle Johnson said...

I agree wholeheartedly with everyone thus far whose commented, especially Paisley. I enjoy visits with my mother who lives two and a half hours away but, I am also happy to come back home. Our relationship works better that way. Living in a house for a long time can be hard to leave behind especially if you have good memories there. I still remember one childhood home I lived in for over ten years. I miss it immensely to this day. I think I am still searching for that homey feeling you have embedded inside you when your comfortable somewhere. Anyway, I am pleased you have such a nice relationship with your mother and each of you are lodging new roots somewhere new. I wish you and your mother the best. Have a nice day.

Within Without said...

It sounds like you're sad to leave a very familiar environment but happy and excited to be in a new one.

I think it's very possible and fairly common to feel both feelings at the same time.

Enjoy the excitement, Gautami, but let yourself feel the sadness too...not that you'd have a choice!

Billy said...

Choices are so difficult, Guatami. I can really relate to this. Sometimes answers seem so unclear.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

That's so cool that you're moving with your mom.

Change is always hard, even change we're looking forward to. You'll be fine.

Steve said...

And just what is normal?

Noah The Great said...

Oh wow. I understand the 14 years thing in an unrelated way.

Just someone said...

Thank you for the nice comments - your work is great; I love Math and I love poems:)
...hope your change goes about smoothly...

christine said...

Moving has to be one of the hardest times, both because of the actual labor involved, and because of the emotional stress of saying goodbye, changing, waking up in a new place..., even if the change is welcome. You explain your feelings quite well.

Rae Trigg said...

I hadn't see the painting before as a symbol of family; paired with your words, it works very well. I always like it when someone else's work shows me a different point of view. Good luck with moving - I hope things go well.

sister AE said...

most definitely normal feelings. after that many years, the house is a personality that you're now having to say good-bye to.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

we moved in December from a house that I lived in (off an on) since 1971. I know the feeling....

Greyscale Territory said...

Lovely sense of intimate closeness in your thoughts. It is that closeness that helps to weather the fears of change.

Gemma

Jo said...

I think it's wonderful that you live together.....my mother and I both have pretty big personalities, so although we are very, very close, I'm not sure in the same house together again would work, but nearby (she's two minutes away) is great. As for moving, yes it is very hard, but change is exciting too. Good luck (and thanks for that comment yesterday, I know you know :) )

extemporaneous said...

I understand looking for signs...I am looking for them everywhere!

Heather

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

So normal to have competing thoughts, Gautami.

I truly don't miss any of my homes, even the one I lived in for 24 of our married years. I have great memories of them all, yet separated myself from the physical place with ease, it is only people that remain missed. I guess I am just different.

You are blessed that you are taking your mom with you and content to do so.

Jane Doe said...

Yes, very normal. I envy the closeness you share with your family, as I am not close to my own. This is a wonderfully written piece. And the process you described, of going to a book for answers, is actually a kind of scrying, or divination. A lot of Pagans I know do that.

Anyway, great writing as usual! Have a nice day!

Donn said...

I find the Old World appreciation of extended family and honoring elders quite fascinating.

It seems as if that sense of continuity is lost over here...too much ME ME ME and not enough US.
Of course this is all precedented on being fortunate enough to have been born into a nice family...
a lot of people weren't as lucky as we were.

LN- Nickers and Ink said...

Change can be jarring, but often so worthwhile!

Thanks for your comments on my recent poetry post at Nickers and Ink.

By the way, I like this blog. Thanks for the link.

Blessings to you,
Linda

polona said...

moving house is always stressful.
i think you cope wonderfully.