Sunday, February 15, 2009

you clutch the vacuum

getting up from bed
I feel the walls shaking
walking awkwardly
towards the stove
I warm last night's tea

bedcovers lie on floor
you clutch the vacuum,
which is as naked as you
sweet smell of love turns
bitterly sour in the morning

sipping the obnoxious tea,
I look at you with a hatred
so fierce, anger so unknown
your snores goad me,
I pour the tea on you

your sudden shout does
nothing but the scalding stains
on your body remind me
of ghosts from my past
spectral of that hanging over

"that tea was undrinkable, anyways"

32 comments:

Julia Smith said...

Wow - what an exciting poem. Dark, but I like dark. I really felt the rage of the narrator. And how the insults of a bad relationship lurk in all the everyday details.

Whitesnake said...

So, Ya not a morning person huh?

JP/deb said...

Brilliant and dark ... how simple household objects can take on so much meaning. Peace, JP/deb

desert rat said...

That went to an unexpected place - in a good way. Dark bitter thoughts, indeed. I like how the objects play an active and not just passively symbollic role.

Edward S Gault said...

A great read!-excellent poem!

anthonynorth said...

There is beauty in darkness.

spacedlaw said...

Such moment of folly in the dark hours...

SandyCarlson said...

What passion! Sure can feel this one. I have known such hauntings.


(PS You're on for next week, too, with "twilight"!)

Haiku Tuna said...

Love it! poetic expression of anger is my next phase. Is it just me thinking the vacuum was the nothingness where the author should have been?

watermaid said...

I wouldn't have liked to be on the receiving end of that 'obnoxious tea'.

Lorraine said...

fine line between love and hate, and there you've showned passionately ;)

kitehorse said...

clever c lever clever ~ spectre as the nothingness where you lay ~ oh well done

Maggie said...

I will never think of a cup of tea in the same way :)

fourwindshaiga said...

I knew this poem was not going to have a happy ending, with I started it, but couldn't see how you were going to work spectral into it. But you did a great job!

polona said...

passion can go either way... excellent stuff

Deborah Godin said...

This is crowded (in a good way) with images of things so many can relate too. Wonderful slice of life (and love)!

Beth P. said...

Tea is like that sometimes.

Wow...thank you for the cellular memories embedded in this one, Gautami--

Thanks for the prompt--

Jim said...

Oh Guatami, this is wonderful. Thank you for the sampling of the 'ghosts of [your] past.'

Thank you, Gautami, for this nice prompt.
I had conjured up angels of death driving along on the highway creating mass chaos. But I ran out of time, sorry. ;-)
Please read my appology, thanks.
..

Linda Jacobs said...

Waht a picture you've created here! Perfect words!

TJ said...

That day ol' tea will take you places.
Angery/dark and very descriptive.
Good job.
TJ

Amias said...

Ouch that hurt! Love can get that way sometimes .. this was much enjoyable.

endurogirl said...

the second stanza is so powerful. Sour, very sour. An excellent read.

Quiet Paths said...

wow, i might not taste tea quite the same again....
you carry the reader all the way through to the scalding...

thank you for the prompt idea this week.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

I felt that, it's like a bad dream I had...

floreta said...

revenge that tastes so sweet!

Fledgling Poet said...

Wow, this took a dark turn that I wasn't expecting...your really grabbed me with the quick twist to the dark side!

Bill said...

Sheesh, I'd cut down on the caffeine. By the way, one of those transoceanic misunderstandings: when you speak of embracing the vacuum, I first get an image of a vacuum cleaner. But I think the image/moment you're going for there is the strongest thing in the poem: the sense that he embraces nothingness as passionately as he embraced you. In fact, I think you could build a poem around that.

one more believer said...

thrz nothing like passion, written all over that... grouchy in the morning, stay outta my way sorta gal.... like mentioned the whole vaccum thing is subtle so strong...amazing how such a small thing as snoring can really tick one off

Tumblewords: said...

Tension is strong in this piece. It is dark in a way and yet tells of another day. Another cup of tea.

zoya gautam said...

..thank u for a good prompt and a good poem..

Janice Thomson said...

Wow! Excellent poem Guatami. The stark emotions really put the reader at the scene with you feeling your pain.

Laurieluc said...

I have been thinking about your poem all week long--Can't get it out of my head. What a great read. Thank you!