moths die out
in the flickering light
sun diffuses
into twilight
mislaid within arroyo
of my mind-
my euphoria
*******
twilight thoughts
move in a whilrwind
creating chaos
TWILIGHT THOUGHTS
create chaos
moving in a whirlwind
twilight thoughts
Go join the NaisaiKu Challenge!
34 comments:
Hi Gautami, Many, many thanks for joining in on the week one challenge - it wouldn't have been complete without you!
I never knew twilight thoughts could cause such chaos, phew!
The NaisaiKu.. Challenge!
Gautami, thank you for thinking of us on week one and for playing along.
It's just a bit of fun!
Hi Gautami, thank you for the first of your verses. I knew something died at twilight, I even spent a little time with Google. I never did run across 'moths.'
Your last is circular. Guess it moves in a whirlwind. ;-)
..
The first one, brilliant. I like the usage of arroyo.
euphoria- I've always loved that word. :)
Love how simple words highlight a word (like arroyo) imbued with dimensions and layers of meaning! Beautiful read!
Excellently done, as always.
I prefer to see a future still in twilight.
I love those two pieces and the naisaiku sounds like FUN.
I enjoyed the movement in both of these. So much energy!
i love the images in the first poem. :)
i like the spiral movement of the second half
it is wonderful to see you in your profile photo too!
The stanza about euphoria is wonderful.
The response to the NaisaiKu challenge was fun to read and see the pattern.
Sun diffuses
into twilight.
Wow. Such a neat way to word it.
Lovely word play there..Liked the idea of periodicity that you've used..Good One!
a dry creek is easy to walk over ...
our minds are filled with gullies and channels carved by the habits of thought, what a profound image.
wonderful stuff... the first one is special.
You're really getting me intrigued with the "palindrome haikus" (I just made that up) I think I'll have to try one out myself. Enjoyed all your work here!
Going to have to check out the Naisaiku.
loved thinking of mislaying my euphoria somewhere in the arroyo--those twilight shadows are so tricky!
Thanks for all--
The state of mind that causes us to dream?
the mind seems to be most busy and chaotic at nighttime..
that was a nice poem.. :)
how r u friend?
Hi Gautami,I joined poetry train.Hope u all visit me.I still can't paste that button,I need a little bit of more help 4m u.
And comment on my poem also.
deepteshpoetry.blogspot.com/2009/02/song-woman.html
I love that first one--wow.
So, you are obviously a big fan of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.
I loved the movie because of all the foreshadowing. That's the best thing about Teen Movies..you feel so smart because they drop 1,000 hints in the first ten minutes. My wife, who has read all four books, wrinkled her nose at me because I correctly guessed what happens throughout the series.
Unfortunately, like an arroyo, this feeling of accomplishment only temporarily fills the dry creek bed of your mind and it soon evaporates. These are my Twilight thoughts on Teen Vampyre Books.
You have a way of just stringing thoughts after thoughts with sensitivity and common sense, pretty awesome!
Good response to the challenge! Arroyo is a full word even though it generally represents not full. Something about that word sends me wandering.
deep within the sog of my boiled four pound cauliflower
an arroyo of discontinuity creates its own chaotic bicameralism
not for nothing did the old me make all those payments
You did the challenge! Nice job! I loved your first one too.
My thoughts do seem to be like a whirl wind at times during twilight hours and can keep me from sleep.
Nice. I like the repetition in the NaisaiKu. It works well with the whirlwind and chaos.
Tami, this is great. I love how you added the NaisaiKu form to the end.I will try and write one myself. Lovely poem full of colors swirling and soft.
love, Melanie-bd
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