Thursday, October 08, 2009

objectivity



let that
eclipse languish
out of that patio door

in its own place of choosing
I watch the darkening sky

and think, I will take a detour
my mood just as stormy

I walk on, increasing my velocity
by now I am completely disarmed

this rambling will go on,
flits through my mind-

to decide what path to take
I pause to take a breather

isn't it true, we like to choose
mayhem that is us?

while I do take a detour
and engage myself in packing my things

mere objects those
yet we hold onto these as lifelines

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I mashed the following to get the above poem.

let my poemlette take you on

let that eclipse languish
in its own place of choosing
I will take a detour
increasing my velocity
I was never asked
why should I be a part of it
mere objects those,
I am alive & I thrive
this rambling will go one
if I don't stop it

here I leave loose ends for you
to decide what path to take
isn't it true, we like to choose
let my poemlette take you on
while I do take a detour

time runs out on me

out of that patio door
I watch the darkening sky
my mood just as stormy
mayhem that is us
flits through my mind

I solicit courage from the clouds
walk down to our room
engage myself in packing my things
your facade blocked out
with strong determination

I pause to take a breather
our photograph from the side table
engages my gaze
I am completely disarmed
trickling tears reinforce my resolve

"I know I will salvage myself from the wreckage"

14 comments:

Lorraine said...

anyway you write it, we always choose Mayhem! Bravo Gautami on this trio!

anthonynorth said...

Excellently done.

Cynthia Short said...

As usual you did a fantastic job..
To me, this was the hardest prompt I have done and it is also the hardest for me to read!

Yellow Tulip said...

wow...this style is too good and very beautifully done with so much ease.. well done:)

davidmoolten said...

I think you have combined these in a way that makes them seem as if they were made for each other. The subtle pauses in breath and phrase and meaning created by the combination cause the poem to be neatly suspended as it's being read.

Linda said...

The mesh you've created is both reflective and moody.
A very clever fit. You are so talented! Thank you.

Just someone said...

That was a nice mash-up!:)

by themselves, they are great too!

Tumblewords: said...

You started with two great poems and created a nifty third. to choose mayhem that is us - it a perfect pivot line.

Derrick said...

Hi Gautami,

Three really good poems. Your mash worked well!

Anonymous said...

from Therese L. Broderick -- I like how you use two colors that are closely matched: I see now that we can use high or low contrast in colors in order to relay to the reader how closely or distantly the two mash-up strands are linked. I love the languishing eclipse -- great image and language! I also admire how you format the poem's one question -- a question composed of two strands, one from each poem. Well-done.

Wayne Pitchko said...

I really liked the originals....but the mash is well done

Francis Scudellari said...

Very well mashed :). I especially liked how the opening four lines worked together.

Erin Davis said...

Marvelous mash! I always enjoy stopping by and reading your work...

http://freckledwriter.blogspot.com/2009/10/new-summer-whispers-to-old-winter.html

Bone said...

mere objects those
yet we hold onto these as lifelines


Love the way you ended that one.