Saturday, October 17, 2009

what has time got to do with blood?

a blur
time rolls us away from it
to it
like a supersonic flight
sounds seem to merge with time
noise in my ears conquer the wired junk
the sudden numbness reaches a crescendo
in that frenzy my knife slips
chipping away half my nail
I stare at the red dots of blood
on the white tiled floor

I ask myself, "doesn't red look good on white?"

40 comments:

dsnake1 said...

hmm, is that the first thought that enters your mind ,"doesn't red look good on white?" ?. not the pain?

excellent piece.

anthonynorth said...

My first reaction would have been much less publishable ;-)

gautami tripathy said...

@dsnake1: The pain comes much later after the numbness wears off.

@anthony: Re-reading my poem, I can well imagine what would have been your first reaction...:)

Lorraine said...

especially polka dots..you're freaking me out ;)

swapna said...

"Chipping half the nail" will make me yell :) But then am a faint heart.

Your words do sound very brave.

linda may said...

La la land hurts.

Linda Jacobs said...

I like how the blurriness of the beginning is contrasted with the sharpness of the ending...like red on white!

Tumblewords: said...

Sharp. Your words are perfectly matched to the 'event'. Nice!!

Heliotropism said...

What a build-up with a superb ending. A white background shares the deep and rich color of red... almost makes the white blur, seem unnoticed.

Kathiesbirds said...

Creative title! Interesting question! Time is blood and blood is time, and yes, red does look good on white, and alarming too! It says STOP! and look at me!

Amity Me said...

you conquered the pain by admiring that red looks great on the white tiles?

that's great!:)

Sage said...

Nicely done, Gautami. You always surprise us at the end

Yellow Tulip said...

beautiful dear:)

Loch Rob said...

An interesting mix of thoughts. I like the imagery of red dots on white, but not the thought of bleeding to do it. My mom would always proclaim, "Pay attention to what you are doing!"

SandyCarlson said...

Noise and numbness can lead to some surreal thinking even when we suffer.

Sweetest in the Gale said...

You must have an artist's eye if the first thing you thought was about colors! lol...this was excellent and very visual.

Sophie said...

Oooh, I fell right into this one... I loved the twisted ending!

b said...

I would have to say the answer is "It depends on whose blood it is." That is how we see other people tragedies in life isn't it?

b

One Man's Junk (http://torristravels.blogspot.com/2009/10/one-mans-junk-sunday-scribblings.html)

Shraddha@theselfloveproject said...

ooh you took my breath away..

great effect..

Sue said...

it would seem in the end that blood has everything to do with time.

Tammie Lee said...

what an amazing thought to have in this situation. This thought feels like a pause that helps to then deal with the intensity of what has happened.
Spirithelpers

keiths ramblings said...

What an interesting piece! I love the matter-of-factness of the final line.

Dee Martin said...

interesting piece. I think if it was me the next line would be something like...then she slowly sunk to the floor unconcious!

Americanising Desi said...

i agree with linda LA LA LAND HURTS

Click The JUNK I need to Rid oFF!

PS : De-abbreviate as you like ;) said...

crazily creative ;)

Leo said...

wow :D this was crazy ;)

Amias said...

red and white makes pink ... and this was interesting to read and think ... about.

Gordon Mason said...

I like how you can describe a brief moment in so many words. And also how the first words of the first 5 lines make "a time to like sounds" when the poem continues with noise in ears and numbness crescendo.

Ana said...

It captures that moment that seems to last forever so well. The way all amplifies and the sudden stop ..red on white.

lissa said...

this does keep my mind rolling along, I am picturing someone who's deep into their mind, they forget their physical body completely, perhaps a out of body experience? just saying what my first reaction is

Gel said...

strong contrast
interesting notion to ponder
well done

Andree said...

I gave out a great hoot at the last line. That's great! I imagine myself doing this sooner or later. The "noise" is TV or radio (not on much anymore) and how they can become this constant disruptive noise in my life. Great connections.

Poetikat said...

That line with "conquer" actually in it, is fantastic—and so true! Nice work!

Jim said...

Conquer the techies but the simple knife gets your blood! It took a moment for me to connect.
..
BTW, I use a nail clipper and have never cut myself. :-)
..

Patois said...

Amazingly well done. I love the junk and the conquering.

RBroeker said...

A thriller. Or a horror movie? I don't know, but it sounds like good start of a good novel.

Best wishes
Ralf

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

nice work!!

Julia Smith said...

LOL!

"doesn't red look good on white?"

LOL!

Patti said...

"sounds seem to merge with time
noise in my ears conquer the wired junk"...lots of interesting choices of words! Many layers to your poem- nicely done~

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Tami, this is excellent. T=It is a strange little poem packed with sharp images"I stare at the red dots of blood
on the white tiled floor
I ask myself, "doesn't red look good on white?"
I just loved these lines.

BTW, having trouble with my URL and had to change it again. My new sites name is :
Cassiopeia Rises
http://cassiopeiarises,blogspot.com

If you could change my link it would be great

love,Melanie.