Thursday, December 09, 2010

who hid that story for us to find

gaps bolted to metal-
I search for nuts
dropping the key,
while you align walls.
I move that metallic eyesore,
paring dirt-
we find a hidden era,
in an unbelievable quiet.

when I lock it up again
we turn around 
to see something, 
maybe for the last time

"I savour that thread which ties us"

27 comments:

Strummed Words said...

I like the idea of a relationship based on working together towards and end. Very cleverly put.

New Snow

Tess Kincaid said...

I'm amazed at the various takes on this prompt. Well done. Excellent piece.

kathew said...

so mysterious-unusual take on the photo-well done!

Daigu said...

Old possessions
aren't possessions at all:
they're stories.
Nice poem.

Jinksy said...

gaps are bolted to metal

What a perfect description of this weeks photo - I really enjoyed your poem. :)

hedgewitch said...

"...paring the dirt
we find a hidden era"--summed up a lot of what's being written to this prompt. Enjoyed your own way of looking at connection, continuity and change here very much.

Dulce said...

Brilliant.... and that tittle wow!
You are a gifted poet!

Trulyfool said...

Gautami,

You've got your handle on a key feature -- economy of words. The spareness of this piece (and, it seems others collected here) is one main strength here.

But also the haunting suggestion ending the poem. It's not 'clear'. It shouldn't be! Bravo.

(I say this as one now writing what seems to be prosy poetry but really -- and I think your comment on my blog suggested your realization of this -- isn't. What seems like 'my style' of conversational casualness really is a masked, yes, you've got it: spareness!)

One 'minimalist' to another?

Trulyfool

Amanda Moore said...

"We find an hidden era" what fantastic writing!

Teresa said...

What a unique take on the prompt. Very interesting!

Tumblewords: said...

Well done...you've chosen a small section to illuminate a large part of life. Nice read!

Brian Miller said...

nice. the stories/memories that weave us together...i think we need to share them more and more so they are not forgotten...

Brigid said...

Excellent poem, clever use of words.

jabblog said...

Imaginative response to the picture prompt - well done :-)

Mama Zen said...

Lovely!

Monkey Man said...

Great wow factor.

My 55 is HERE .

Bill said...

Evocative imagery.

G-Man said...

This was terrific!!
Week after week you never fail to amaze.
Loved your 55 My Friend.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Someone Is Special said...

clever and wonderful..

--Someone is Special--

Margaret Bednar said...

... a hidden era. Maybe that is one reason I love antiques. New furniture doesn't have secrets.

Stranger said...

I love the nuts bolts of building as well as keys for locking or unlocking. Combined with the title of hidden stories wow. I love it.

PattiKen said...

Lovely interpretation of the theme.

sheila said...

Beautiful! Can be applied to so many instances in life!

Titanium said...

Beautifully written, an excellent sound-off on the theme.

Claudia said...

wow - this is literally working on an relationship - excellent write

lime said...

so wistful

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

so beautiful, there are so many layers