I nudge corners
into the centre
they resist
I persist
my hammer hits again
a column resonates
I hear astral music
in a sandbox
door frames shake
as I chisel away the concrete
I want mud walls
on which I can do finger painting
"enough space you saved for me, give it to me now"
38 comments:
intriguing...so what does astral music sound like? carving out our own space...i get that...
Intriguing indeed. Is the final italicised line a quote?
Very very interesting....we, as the reader, can interpret this in our own mind...one way or another. To me, that makes a fiction so very right!!!
My 55 is posted!! Here is the link for you.
"Astral Music" makes the creative vibe a prime impetus that gives so much more a resounding construct! Love this poem! Relate to; "I want mud wall on which I can do finger painting"; very richly primal!
Mind you don't hit your fingers with the hammer: you'll be needing them for the finger painting.:-)
ViV
I too want to know what astral music sounds like. Love the idea of finger painting on a mud wall.
The music of the spheres. We are all gifted by the Universe. That's what poetry is....a gift.
Thanks for this one shot.
Lady Nyo
You delight us and engage all our senses,,,, tactile, sensory, visual,,,,,,,,,,and primal appeal
lovely 55er,'
joanny
Really enjoyed this, Gautami. I like the idea of fingerpainting in mud walls.
they resist/ I persist. Love that bit.
( if you nudge with a hammer, I do not want to be around when you decide to be forceful)
An intriguing poem Gautami.
Pamela
Amazing how music can fill the spaces in side ourselves.
I did a music oriented thing, too.
astral music in a sandbox...wow..this sounds special
Finger painting and astral music. What could be better?
Ah yes, a woman weilding tools with knowledge and skill, building her own space, rather than waiting for someone else to do it. I love your imagery, your words, and especially that last line,
Elizabeth
Are you sure you teach Math and not Prose?
Most Excellent 55 My Friend.
Thank you so for playing and for your wonderful support.
Have a Kick Ass Week-End
Put me in mind of the singing sand mounds (hills) I read/heard about. Fascinating.
How wonderfully fascinating! I love that idea of finger painting on mud walls.
i like the idea of fingerpainting on mud walls
great images you portray
thanks for the visit
Happy Weekend
and I enjoyed reading.....thanks for sharing Gautami
love astral music in a sandbox and finger painting on mudwalls... very nice
I always envision that astral music sounds like the slow playing of each tambura string. I loved the surreal, ethereal feel of this poem. Very nice expression.
Proactive and deliberate carving of space. Nice one.
Working towards the center, towards the harmony that's hidden, removing the walls. Very well-written piece, leaving space for the reader to work in as well.
I can hear it with your lines--the music of the spheres, the soul, the spirit! Thank you!
Like a dream...
... of the primal artist.
Magical piece, indeed!
ah the malleable surface is indeed enviable
sound boxes and painting on mud walls sounds fun...I wish I knew what astral music sounded like :)
I like the primal essance of carving out space, astral music, painting with fingers on mud walls - feels real.
Truly beautiful and enchanting writing@
good contrasts in this!
Oh, beautiful. It gives me the feeling of being a child or having the perspective of a child playing despite this adult body. Astral Music indeed.
P.S. Thank you for visiting and commenting on my 55. I always appreciate your kind words.
An intriguing take on the prompt.
Interesting how you put astral music to the hammering of concrete and finger painting of mud walls. Active imagination!
Vivid imagery here- love it!
I love the idea of destroying what is supposed to be good (the concrete walls) in order to create beauty. We all need to do more of that in our lives.
Lovely piece.
Very interesting! Damaging something can bring more beauty out of it... like percussion out of beating on drums!
Oh.. I really enjoyed your style here, Gautami... it's rich and has a way of really arousing the reader's interest!
Sometimes one must get down to the basics...
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