he brushes away the dirt from those shoes, applies a base coat, leaves them to dry
the dead man takes out a charcoal, that piece he pilfered from a pyre,
he sketches on the shoes, a design so chaotic, but orderly for him
on a palette, the dead man mixes paints, and first fills the cracks
(but why paint on a shoe, he utters loudly, he has misgivings too)
the dead man knows, shoes denote freedom, that journey which goes on and on
one shoe can fall apart, other one might last longer, as did his twin
thinking of his zygoted part, dead man becomes sad and melancholic
but his brush never stops, it goes over corners, makes lines, curves and dots
the dead man's lean brush tells a story on the uppers of shoes
he makes it as easy for us, as complicated as it was for him
"our dead man knows his story needs to be told but where has he gone?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to Big Tent Poetry, I got to know about Marvin Bell and his Dead Man Poetry. For more Dead Man poems by Marvin Bell, do check out the Poetry.org site.
39 comments:
this is an excellent piece of writing. loved the story you wove. hope all is well. have a great day.
I loved the layers and layers of words building up the complex picture - it seemed different to your previous pieces and was very skilfully done..Jae
This is indeed woven well.. unique as usual..
The charcoal taken from a funeral pyre is a fantastic image.
"so chaotic but orderly for him" really resonated with me. As usual it's wonderfully complex and beautiful
This is so wonderfully penned. You captured so much in this.
"...he makes it as easy for us, as complicated as it was for him..." Perfect way to end this piece. The dead often find a way to do this for us, don't they?
Lovely.
A deliciously disturbing narrative where dried paint somehow still breathes some life!
Compellingly written with wonderful imagery, really well done.
Very compelling. Nice work.
Magical, the vision of dead man writing. And on his own shoes, with coal from his own pyre. I say anything more than everyone else - this is incredible. One of your best!
And that's saying something!
Amy BL
An air of mystery that is often hard to achieve.
I loved it.. and I actually saw paintings on old shoes.. well boots at a shop in Madrid, New Mexico.. Those old boots were selling for quiet a bit.. Have a wonderful day~
Patsy
wow. this is extremely well written...very nice...
well portrayed!! Really Well Done! :)
That's following enjambment to the nth degree! A great free-flowing thought process.
I am whopper-jawed by this. Truly stunned by it.
You did a much better job with this dead man thing than i did--I just couldn't take it seriously. Very well done poem, whether you know about the dead man premise or not.
I love painting on shoes. ^Giggles^ such vivid pictures painted with your words and with "his words" and brushes.
Thank you.
My Dead Woman Poem
Very well expressed!!
Gautami you have done it again.
Perfect dead man poem.
Pamela
Quite an excellent story. Very creative.
I like poems that make me think—and the emotional quality of this poem does just that. Beautifully written.
Gautami, I like several things about this one. The imagery, is fantastic and I love the thin brush the dead man uses. I like that you stepped outside the form itself and still managed it well. This is an artistic piece, written by an artist of some report.
Elizabeth
Gautami, I want to see the finished shoes. Your words evoke gorgeous images. I love pondering the dead man's twin, and the idea that "shoes denote freedom."
Almost mystical. I love that 'he' desires to make his complications easier for us. And it is easy to wonder where he has gone. Nicely done!
Wonderful writing using the Dead Man form. I'm slowly working up the courage to try this form myself. Thanks, Gautami
ah, nice variation on the form. I love the final line.
Is there a term for those capstone lines you use to finish off your poems?
You always manage to amaze me with your very imaginative takes on the prompts...a dead man painting shoes? Fabulous!
glad you enjoyed learning about the form. i did, too!
Your writing is very moving. For that reason alone you are very talented.
sooo good Gautami....i can relate to this vey much.....thanks for sharing your wonderful words again....take care
Everyone's said this already, but the idea of painting with shoes is perfectly charming! Love it.
I love the line about the charcoal pilfered from a funeral pyre. Very creative.
The charcoal was my favorite, too. Love (esp) the strength of those first three lines.
Great "dead man" poem (and I liked the other too . . .) Very interesting meditation on shoes -- denoting freedom, journey, the shoe can fall apart, one might last longer . . .
Reminds me of the phrase, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Well done, as your work always is!
I like how the dead man's brush tells a story on his shoes.
Well done. I like the attention to detail (yours in the telling of the dead man's work, that is).
Gautami! Thank you for reminding me of Marvin Bell! I haven't picked up any of his books in years and I've forgotten how much I enjoyed his work.
The Dead Man Poems are like a buried treasure I had forgotten about.
Marvin Bell's section in The Poet's Notebook (LOVE THIS BOOK), inspired me to create an exercise around it that I haven't used in several years. And now you've inspired me to use it as my weekend workout.
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