Long time since I ranted. Time for one, me thinks. This one really makes me mad!
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Most people say that they would like to spend the rest of their lives with some one who can them laugh. They wish to meet someone who has a sense of humour. Frankly, I never understood what they mean by that.
Should he/she tickle them? Should he/she dance on his/her head? Should he/she act a clown? What do they want really?
How is that other person supposed to make them laugh when all they can manage, is a dour face to the rest of this world? Shouldn't we look into ourselves first before we demand anything like that from someone else? Why in the world should that person do it, anyway?
I have heard many saying that they couldn't bear to live with someone who can't make them laugh. I ask those people, why can't they have the ability to make themselves laugh? In the process, make the other person laugh too.
What is that they mean by he/should have a sense of humour? Does that mean he/she laughs at himself/herself but not at them?
I have seen people who claim they have a sense of humour, unable to take it when it is at their espense. They don't like sarcastic humour thrown at them but demand of others to grin and bear it.
Any takers for this rant? So what do you say to that, my blogger friends? Got any sense of humour?
24 comments:
First of all let me congratulate you on using the BBC proper spelling of HUMOUR
(another remnant of 300 years of French/Norman slavery)
You can:
Smell Funny(peculiar)
Act Funny(capricious)
Look Funny(comical)
Speak Funny(droll)
Think Funny(facetious)
...yes thanks to the miraculous language absorbing whore that we refer to as English, funny can have several inferences.
We all have our own sense of humour that makes us unique and Culturally we laugh at different things..
but laughter is universally recognised...
nothing compares to it..
whether it is children giggling or adults guffawing and chortling..
the is no sweeter sound in this world.
Most Comedy is given birth from adversity..
a coping mechanism that diffuses and actually allows our brain to learn things faster and retain the information longer..
except jokes..
which disappear from memory because the surprise ending, the mental slight of hand (misdirection) is the key to a good joke..
we laugh and our brain relaxs and we forget to memorize that joke...
How did it go again??.
Anyway people need to be able to laugh at themselves
(FUNNY starts with an FU)or they are doomed...
it is a state of vulnerability that others will embrace...
unless they are too insecure and thin-skinned!
Funny you should ask?
Isn't funny how I never answered your question!
I introduced two of my best friend to each other. They fell in love and were planning to marry. She told me she started falling in love with him because he made her laugh. Kind of shocked me. I had known both of them for over two decades. Not once in all of those years did I consider him amusing in the least. Have to admit that she did make me laugh.
My wife thinks I have a sense of humor. That one shocks me also. I've been often accused of being emotionless, but never amusing.
I suppose it is better to be with someone who makes you laugh than someone who makes you cry.
Is sarcastic humor actually humor or is it passive aggressive behavior?
Oh...the question that begs an answer. Ok. What question does not? Ha! The non-rhetorical rhetorical. Sometimes I crack myself up.
I used to be a non-humo"u"rous bitchy sort. I'm not sure what happened except that I noticed more people like to laugh than not. My sense of humo"u"r used to be very dry and deadpan. It took me some time to realize that nobody actually knew that I was joking around, and further thought I was the bitchy sort even when I wasn't feeling particularly acerbic.
Ok. My last boyfriend's most endearing quality was his ability to make me laugh. He'd make me laugh so much that I became totally pissed off because some things aren't a joke, such as "you need a job," and "cheating isn't cool."
Now that we've been broken up for a couple of years we get along great, and he still makes me laugh until my sides hurt.
My current boyfriend likes my sense of humo"u"r and sort of has his own. I rarely get his jokes, except for the insanely bad puns. He's a really really smart man, and totally geeky about humo"u"r, so I have to try hard to make obscure jokes about weird stuff that most of the population would not understand. He gets it. I like our tete a tetes (sp? also, there's a better term there but I can't recall it) immensely because I have to challenge myself to make him laugh.
The answer remains that certain people have a chemistry and humor is part of that. It lightens the mood and helps get you through those hard times, and enjoy the good. So it's not necessarily that one's significant other needs to have a sense of humor, but that both people have to agree that things are funny.
Oh, and those bastard conservatives who mistake meanness for satire really annoy me. I want to staple a dictionary to their heads, with the word "satire" highlighted with arsenic.
Happy Tuesday! =)
i don't think it's any kind of necessity at all. i mean Tony Blair is married and i believe even Leonard Cohen has a succession of relationships behind him - maybe he didn't make them laugh. the thing is that in modern days if we say i couldn't marry someone unattrative it's kind of wrong, but in reality for most it's higher on the list. a laugh is no bad thing, but as a prerequisite for marriage it's a bit strong
never thought about it --- I've never heard a man say that he wants a funny woman. It must be a woman thing.:)
Humour comes in many ways.
Someone who in the darkest hour can raise your doubts and your fears and make you feel so special.
Humour is not only about laughing, it's about life.
i admit i want and probably need significant other people to laugh with me and to cause me to lighten up and laugh with them.
i've found deep long laughter is one of the healthiest pasttimes i could ever have. i've just spent a weekend with ces and we laughed our way through it. in the snow. on the couch. in the car.
look for the sparkle in the eyes and you will find humour nearby...
:)
well sweetie we can only be happy if we r happy inside. no external thing can make anyone happy.
HUGGGGGGGGZ! Check my blog ;-)
Keshi.
in the right context i will laugh at pretty much anything - with myself at the top of the list
on a slightly more pedantic note - i think that it is important to remember the difference between sarcasm and irony when considering humour
Shouldn't we look into ourselves first before we demand anything like that from someone else?
I couldn't agree more, Gautami. How can we have such high expectations for our partners without first having them for ourselves?
donn/h.e.: First things first, we Indians are stickler for British English. Any other kind simply does not exist for us.
There is no real definition for what is really humour. It has different connotations for different people, different cultures et etc.
We might not understand a word of what other says but smile and laughter gets across and binds us too for a short period.
I really do not blame you for not answering what I asked.
buffalo: Sarcastic humour is kind of a defence mechanism most of the times. But if one has to get a point across without long-winded explanations, it works great. Certain people who are sarcastic cannot handle it if it directed at them.
shelly: I can understand that. I too say and do things with a dead pan face. Sometimes it does not get across. Satire IS humour if taken in the right spirit. Most fail to do that.
rukshak: you missed my point entirely.
andrew: I like that! Another perception..
whitesnake: Humour makes life smooth and easy even in the most difficult of times. But what we pass of for humour is not that at all. As you say, it is way of life for a few.
kj: Truly spoken but thats not what I meant.
floots: I agree. I can see the glint in your eyes..:D
lotus: Pessismistic people are hard to please. Theyare unable to laugh at anyone on anything. Sense of humour is not about, laughing, smiling. It is a statement of life.
Reading all the replies made me laugh, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with any of the responders.
i spose as long as one learns how to laff at oneself nothing else really is funny enuff to make one live thru
pat: You hit the nail on the head...:D
magiceye: Humour is not only the ability to laugh at oneself. It is beyond that. Go figure it out yet again.
apologies. i believe i got your point - i was being flippant - which is of course an ugly cousin of sarcasm.
I promised myself I would never lose my sense of humour when raising kids--boy was I wrong!
I think it is easier to laugh together when you don't have to live together!
But that quality is one of the most precious things we can share...
ok, what did i miss?
my point was that even though i laugh freely, i also want people i love to be able to laugh and make me laugh. but somehow i missed your point, for which i apologize and to which i now respond: if a person doesn't have his/her own capacity to laugh, he/she will not be able to truly enjoy the laughter of others.
am i closer?
:)
At its best, a sense of humor is an applied sense of perspective. Without perspective, what passes for humor can be cruel, trivial, or just plain dumb.
im funny when i dont realize i am.
ruksak: Be as flippant as you can be but follow it up with reasons.
firebird: Raising boys is tough. One needs all the with one has but thats not enough either.
kj: Laughing freely is not sense of humour. It is but a tiny part of it. Humour is our attitude, our vision towards life. Where we can see something funny in the most serious of situations. One person who had that was my dad.
Ability to see ones own quirks.
bill: Yes. Exactly what you say.
ghost: It happens with most of us.
Why the ranting!?: I'm for metaphysical clowning... Belly laughter is believed to have a healing effect. In our language, there is a saying: 'Laughter is half of health'!:)The ability to laugh at oneself might very well be the other half...?!:)
This makes a lot of sense never thought of it before
Nasra
borut: why not? Ranting is good to let the steam off ones mind!
nasra: In our too busy lives, we seldom give it a thought for humour nowadays. Time to pause and think.
In my opinion, the central issue of "I want somebody who makes me laugh" is "I want".
I want this, I want that. These are my conditions, can you give me this, that, blah blah.
The "I want somebody who can make me laugh" person is probably the most boring person around.
Looking for a Shah Rukh Khan or Aamir Khan clone probably. Somebody who'll keep entertaining them.
They'll never get what they want. Because they don't know, and don't have the desire, to give anybody anything.
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