I draw a line on the sand
and see a streak of light following it
an eerie light, that is so creepy
a premonition of something
I can't see the top,
the bottom is fathomless
yet I spin it
weaving a tale out of it
yes, I'd catch a grenade for you,
but I will not keep it.
I will throw it right back at you.
"after all , destruction is what you are best at"
28 comments:
Destruction and revenge...hollow, souless pursuits...very good use of the prompt !!!
This is indeed evloved poetry ..I enjoy reading you..always..
I love that it does not make sense. still there are times when there is green sparkles in the sand that one can see when they drag a stick in the sand... memories.
Very profound!~Ames
I think arguments are verbal grenades...
Great poem!
Good job on this poem.
=)
Do spin it, do weave a tale out of it.... can it not be loving tale?
I think it can be.
In some ways this makes no sense, but in others, it has a gut wrenching likeness to many war stories that feature death and destruction...also...senseless!
This one's very deep.
Not sure, you sort of turn my thinking on it's head at the end, but I can see the emotion and passion vividly in this
imagination flows so high...to the top!
Good poem with subtle shifts of meaning, written from a prompt that I really don't like at all.
Well done!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's SC week 42 Maisy-Jane
Interpersonal conflict is so ugly! I agree with June Freaking Cleaver. "I think arguments are verbal grenades.."
Well done!
Namaste..........cj
Very good use of the prompt, which was a difficult one. I'm impressed with your ability to use it in such a deep poem. Kat
Great poem, and great use of the prompt
A spinning tale is right; spinning good and bad.
Dark...the beginning confuses and leads to questions but makes perfect sense one the poem is fully read...and goosebumps appear!
Gems x
I like it. Just reading it gives me a catharsis. Nicely done.
xoRobyn
Intriguing! Love the back and forth, the come and go of this poem's energy. Great job!
wow...this is immensely beautiful...your poetry is so vivid and rich....I feel embarrassed to call mine poems... :)
a witty spin up!
This could be anger ebbing and flowing. I hope it tops out.
oh yes you have to love a strong and destructable person! very nicely done!
This resonates with me. That damned grenade!
ohhh the sting.... oozing wound...... it is good to walk away and come back another day..... love the confrontation though it feels so good!!!
Spinning your tales and never seeing the top. That would be an exercise in futility. Please look upward. :)
I like it, GT!
..
Well rendered. The voice of this poem is the voice of someone I need.
Incredible.
Where were you when I was leaving my first husband. I would totally have used some of these lines.
Love this dark and haunting imagery.
Love the truth of these words.
Thanks for a wonderful use of this difficult prompt.
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