Monday, May 26, 2008

running away with it----Read Write Poem/Monday Poetry Train



And also come ride the Monday Poetry Train...

pulsating, so ripe it throbs
suddenly developing wings
it flies away, disappearing
totally out of sight.

my tongue hanging out,
I look at the deep hole
where it ought to be
my hands feel the depth

tentacles form out of nowhere
roots fill the hole
sprouting leaves and buds
next thing I see flowers

blossoming. sweet fragrance reach
out to my nose and I do not miss
my fly away heart any more

"when I do find it floating on water
I kick it away, not wanting it"

21 comments:

Joy Renee said...

very well done. surreal like dreaming in Salvador Dali.

my poem this week is a story of a ravishing.

Julia Smith said...

Hmm. The narrator seems freed by the loss of a too-emotional heart. But how could the person 'feel' free without that heart?

Jill said...

It feels like summer!
And I found it to be all the emotions you go through went loving again after an heartbreak!

sister AE said...

I can't help but wonder if the "fly-away heart" was not the narrator's to keep in the first place. You know? the "if you love something set it free" kind?

And in setting it free, the narrator frees herself too?

Noah The Great said...

A wonderful piece!

Linda Jacobs said...

I love the image of the trees and buds and flowers blossoming where the heart used to be.

This is one of those poems I'm going to be thinking about all day!

AscenderRisesAbove said...

lovely; i have missed reading you

ascenderrisesabove.com/wordpress

mariacristina said...

I love how your heart blossomed in an unexpected place, in aplace where you treasured it, unlike the water.

Anonymous said...

Hi,Gautami. I enjoyed reading your poem. I read it as a 'rites of spring/the agony and ecasty of creation/birth piece. Good work.
David Mascellani

polona said...

powerful and multilayered...

Steve said...

One can read so much into it!

polkadotwitch said...

i could see and feel everything! very imaginative.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

This is very different for you, G, and I really like it. I had to read it through twice and I'm still not entirely certain I get it. There's so much going on in here!

Don Iannone said...

I'm with Polona...many layers to this one. So much in life we think we want. We get close to it and at times get it and decide that is not what I want. The mind is a bed of unrest. My sense...

Danika / OpenChannel said...

"when I do find it floating on water
I kick it away, not wanting it"

you had these in quotation marks, so I wasn't sure if they were your words or a quotation... regardless, it's a fabulous last line.

anthonynorth said...

Fly-away hearts can be a problem, but they're ours - we made them.

Nathan1313 said...

The last two lines really give the poem a nice turn. Wonderfully vivid.

iamnasra said...

I enjoyed the image that you painted with your words

Jo said...

Yes, really enjoyed the surrealist element to this, you did a good job.

one more believer said...

visually pulsating.. so much movement throughout... especially liked the end note... kick it away, not wanting it...

Jennifer said...

I like the image of the tentacles transforming into flowers and buds - I imagine vines twisting around.