Tuesday, May 27, 2008

can't you please reopen the portals sooner than later?

I find that interpreting works of poet in ones own way is creative too! I like transcreating. This time I take The Lonely Street by William Carlos Williams.

The Lonely Street

School is over. It is too hot
to walk at ease. At ease
in light frocks they walk the streets
to while the time away.
They have grown tall. They hold
pink flames in their right hands.
In white from head to foot,
with sidelong, idle look--
in yellow, floating stuff,
black sash and stockings--
touching their avid mouths
with pink sugar on a stick--
like a carnation each holds in her hand--
they mount the lonely street.


can't you please reopen the portals sooner than later?

since school closed
mornings are empty-
despite the heat
I miss the sounds
of chattering girls
shoes dragging in the corriders
in stiffly ironed uniforms.
streets seem so empty
parents are so harassed
and here I was thinking
vacations are cure for
stressed minds.
when I see those
splash of colours
however dirty,
on those scraps of paper;
these make me long
for school
to reopen.
when you do come back
I can only hope

you would be wiser
now that you are taller.

"I would still welcome you even if you are not"


Do let me know what you think of my attempt. I welcome comments and feedbacks, as always!


cyclopseven said...

Acha..you are rooted within the nest of your mind. Are you a teacher? Well written.

poefusion said...

In The Lonely Street I felt as though Williams was speaking of growth into adulthood and how lonely it can be venturing out into the world alone, after high school.

In your transcreated piece I felt a sense of longing for school to reopen so you could watch the children grow towards their individual lives. Nicely done. Have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

I think you did well - and I agree with Michelle - that's how I felt too. Great job!

Anonymous said...

Quite a good effort Gautami. I do like the original though, it has urgency and a sound like patter of feet on cobbles.

Hope you're doing good and enjoying Rose's novel.


White Rose said...

What a terrific idea! I see that you are a teacher and the love for your job comes through in your poem.
Nice work!

lissa 07 said...

transcreating - I like that idea, I may just write one myself,

great interpretation!

Anonymous said...

I'd never heard of transcreating before. I like the Williams's poem, especially the part where he describes what could be e group of schoolgirls 'touching their avid mouths/with pink sugar on a stick'. I think you have captured something of this concrete imagery with your 'chattering girls/shoes dragging in the corridors/in stiffly ironed uniforms'.

anthonynorth said...

That is one dedicated teacher writing there.

Preethi said...

haah,... loved it.. I never grew any wiser with every school year!!! And now I am a lot taller but no wiser!! :)

The Journey Home

LizLSB said...

I love the idea of growing wiser now that you are taller. Great effort!

polona said...

quite a different feel to each of these poems... well done