Thursday, May 22, 2008

some crap inside my mind......Totally Optional Prompts



intense is how/what you read about me-
one aspect, I never ever intended
to get across for you to see.
now intensely I try to read, what else, me.
truly what do I really tell thee-
aspirations, dreams that are distended?
intensity of which is lost from me
all aspects gone forever, which I never intended.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I took too much poetic liberty with the lines, while writing a triolet. It might feel disjointed to some. However, it answers what has been playing in my mind since yesterday. Why? That is another question...

17 comments:

Stan Ski said...

Everything evolves. What you do and what you intended are not always the same, but the final outcome is often an advanced form of the intent.

anthonynorth said...

The meaning is often in the question, and not the answer.

Whitesnake said...

too much happening too quickly..

who knows?
who cares?
I do!

Brian said...

Moving away from past
find it sticky
like molasses
Moving to the future
find it clotted
like chutney
If only all
my life
was edible

Pat Paulk said...

Don't we all scribble disjointed thoughts on the walls of our brain? I don't think you could ever loose your intensity, it must just be changing direction. Thanks for visiting even when I wasn't there!!

Borut said...

Intent: profound and intense.

my backyard said...

intense, indeed.

Kai C. said...

very nice!
i hope you are well!

Rob Kistner said...

Well done -- Gautami... ;)

JP/deb said...

Wonderful form. I love the looking glass feel of this poem. Peace, JP/deb

ozymandiaz said...

I have been seeing quite a bit of the Troilet lately. might have to try it

Felicity said...

Very nice :)
I especially liked the last line.

texasblu said...

I LOVE your title - fits perfectly.

I don't know if you care or not (if you don't then ignore this part of my comment), but you're right about taking too much license. I'm only letting you know because I was astonished when I found out how specific the form is and was glad to find out.
This was an excellent resource for me: http://www.everypoet.org/pffa/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9916

That little tidbit aside, I love your poem - intention is key. ;)

polona said...

i think this was intense enough!

Ofira Sephiroth said...

Very nice

Linda Jacobs said...

Hmmm...I kind of read this as you are showing more of yourself through your writing than you ever thought you would. I think that is a good thing! It gives your poetry more depth. I really like what you did with this form!

Whitesnake said...

Gone No.........Forgotten?
Never!