Sunday, February 01, 2009

dancing verses


paint splashes
over that canvas
hiding what?

hiding thoughts
rise so high
only to fall down

downfall-
scraped knees
kiss the earth

kissing the ground
smells heaven
it feels like home

homing emotions
arouse instincts
of nesting intensely

intensity for me-
equates to nuzzling
deeply into you

deeply into you
my pores
drenched with love

32 comments:

Ghost Particle said...

beautiful :) and the experiment with form continues. love the flow.

Julia Smith said...

I love this section:

'intensity for me-
equates to nuzzling
deeply into you'

Wonderful new Poetry Train button!

Jeeves said...

Love the flow. Very nice one

Whitesnake said...

nicely woven

Sweet Talking Guy.. said...

Deeply truely madly, I love the way these verses dance!

sage said...

they do dance, well done

Jill said...

I like how it flow, going from a topic to another, but staying linked!

Lorraine said...

Wow it is dancing and quite intriguing, I enjoyed it verymuch Guatami :)

Homo Escapeons said...

A lovely sentimental nuzzling..especially when you are trapped in a frozen wasteland like I am. Last night we were nesting. It went from a balmy above zero melt at noon to 20 below with 50 kph winds within a matter of hours.
Nesting evolves into full blown coccooning under these circumstances.

I also liked the ebb and flow of the relationship..never static..and if it were it would be a warning..a portent of some calamity to follow.

Gledwood said...

Your poetry's fascinating! I'm keeping a bookmark of you so I can come back on a regular basis... excellent stuff!!

;->...

get zapped said...

Passionate and lovely imagery. Nice.

WitchScribe said...

intensity for me-
equates to nuzzling
deeply into you

I love that line, just like it seems others do as well. I understand it. I feel the same way when I have my face tucked perfectly into the bend of my husband's neck.

Beautiful poem.

Nairobi said...

Wow...lovely write!
njoyed readin it...

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

hiding thoughts
rise so high
only to fall down

This was my favorite...

magiceye said...

was lovely....
like a rollercoaster ride!
thoroughly enjoyed it

Fledgling Poet said...

One stanza leads to the next with a sinuous sensuality...wonderfully done!

utopianfragments said...

i can see why you directed me to hear.
lovely.
dhyan

watermaid said...

I love the way you've linked the verses together. Your use of this verse form is very successful.

- A - C - said...

very intriguing linking..I am now wondering whether a similar experiment could be done with images.

Margie said...

Wonderful!!!
Love it!

Margie

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Why it is that the paint has to hide something on the canvas? Why can't it bring something to light?

Sorry. That was the first thing that sprang into my head when I read that first stanza. Guess I'm tired of hiding and ready for another fight. I'd better get over that FAST. I'm tired of fighting.

Art and Poetry said...

Very nice! I like the three line layout I use it my self sometimes

Janice Thomson said...

Love how these lead into one another a dance indeed. Most enjoyable.Well done Guatami!

angie said...

Oh, what a beautiful spiral! Love it!

Tumblewords: said...

I'm really enjoying your new style...

anthonynorth said...

From painting to love. An excellent journey.

Pat Paulk said...

Wow!! A dancing poem you have written!!

polona said...

this was a great ride.

Winnie the poohi said...

interesting structure.. loved the veiled repetitions of words :)

gel(Emerald Eyes) said...

this structure still interests me
like the end a lot:
"intensity for me-
equates to nuzzling
deeply into you

deeply into you
my pores
drenched with love"
(perfect for upcoming Valentine's Day" or any time...)

rebecca said...

nicely done

artpredator said...

love the interconnected ness and how it all develops and flows