Thursday, June 25, 2009

I am trying to think of stuff I never told you, mom

I am trying to think of stuff I never told you, mom
practically everything about me you have known
right from the day I issued forth from your womb

yes, I never asked you those algebraic problems
those long chemical equations and Physics sums
without my asking you drove away my phantoms

this aries daughter of yours has been so headstrong
in your eyes she has not done anything wrong
even when your thoughts were linear, hers oblong

yet there are parts of me you will never ever know
when I turned towards him, bonding with you I let go
intense feelings for him, are not for any kind of show

"a time comes where space between daughter and mother is inevitable"

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32 comments:

sam said...

Mmmmm. This is though-provoking: it must be quite emotional to make the separation you describe so well. Sometimes it's really hard to let go.

Ibin Kuz said...

But I would appreciate you, if you can contribute something that the form of thought can provide a solution for people who have certain problems.

Lorraine said...

Indeed quite though-provoking, it becomes a different kind of understanding...very well written!

sarah haliwell said...

Lovely, I especially liked this line - even when your thoughts were linear, hers oblong - and I love the rhythm of it.

gautami tripathy said...

Solve your own problems, Ibin.

Irene Toh said...

It's a strange dilemma..how hard we try to separate from our mother and how we feel a shadow of our mother.

Jeeves said...

Like this one a lot. The dilema.

Michelle Johnson said...

Yes, there comes a time when we must let go of our mothers and venture into a new life scope. Enjoy this new avenue and its freedoms while still remembering what you and your mother shared. Hope all is well. Have a nice day.

strattonm said...

IF this is something you're not entirely pleased with, I would love to see something you are entirely pleased with.

This was haunting to me.

Deborah Godin said...

Beautiful, feels personal and yet universal!

magiceye said...

so true
happens between mother and son too!

Claudia said...

I enjoyed reading this. Great work! Especially the way you use the mathematical terms - the logic of the angles and equations are nicely juxtaposed with the messy feelings of human relationships.

Tumblewords: said...

Provocative poem - love ...thoughts linear versus oblong...and the mark of inevitability.

Lawrence Gladeview said...

the rhyme scheme and rhythm of the poem rushes well from beginning to end. a very candid glimpse into a private relationship. thanks for sharing and nice write here -lawrence

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I love the sentiment here, G. I wish I could say something similar to my own mom, but other than the bit about being an Aries, I'm out of luck.

Deb said...

"your thoughts were linear, hers oblong" is a terrific way to show the differences.

Wayne Pitchko said...

interesting...and well written as usual

Paul Oakley said...

Separation without anxiety - over the separation, that is...

Nice, Gautami!

Texas2Tennessee said...

...and then one day you look in a mirror and exclaim, "Mom, what are you doing here?"

A very fine read of a well-crafted poem. Thank you.

Phil Thrift said...

Poetic and forceful at the same time.

Whitesnake said...

Did ya ever tell her ya had a snake

Claire said...

i read your poem before you posted on my blog. it had me speechless because it was the exact theme of my own thoughts.

your use of the word "issued" in teh first stanza is perfect for me because it leads the reader into thinking that a distnace will be created, just as any issue of anything dates and is replaced with later editions.

Bone said...

yet there are parts of me you will never ever know

That was the centerpiece of this for me. I definitely related. Excellent piece, Gautami.

gigidiaz said...

This is beautiful

b said...

So much truth in so few words. Symbiotic mother/daughter relationships need to be continually kept in check so we can love our lover.

Catherine said...

It sounds as if you had a wonderful relationship with your mother. I admire the way you handle forms, I rarely attempt metre and rhyme because it tends to come out so clunky

Takakow said...

If there are canyons between mothers and daughters remember that as long as they are both alive there are bridges. In one cataclysmic second all the bridges can be destroyed, no matter how far up or down stream you walk, there will never be a way across, no fallen tree, or stepping stone. Cherish bridges whilst you still have them even if they apear rickity and unstable. When you have to rely on the bridge of spirit it is hard, really hard, and sometimes it makes you just want to run out along a broken bridge of regret and fling yourself into the canyon come what may. Mothers and daughters are a unique dynamic, love the differences, love the joy, laugh, breath deep and hold hands if you still can.
All my love and energy
Takakow.

angie said...

I like the linear/oblong comparison but I think my favorite line is "without asking you rove away my phantoms."

That is what moms do, even when we think we don't want them to!

sage said...

Nice poem--from what you've said, it sounds like you and your mom has had a good relationship--I often think of relationships with parents now that my mother is so sick and, most of the time, doesn't know me.

Julia Smith said...

'even when your thoughts were linear, hers oblong'

Love that, Gautami!

Nathan said...

A powerfully felt description of this change in relationship.

Erin Davis said...

I love how this poem describes what can't be shared between a mother and daughter, no matter how close they have been. I also like the linear/oblong contrast. Reminds me of my mom and me!