Sunday, September 20, 2009

when my bones stick into yours

shadows of rain hide you and I
from misty drops of pure sunshine

in the ramshackle barns
broken down houses
abandoned factories
you find me with desperation
I find you for inspiration
love becomes a meaningless word
cloaked in the fog of our need
when my bones stick into yours
our mutual hunger surfaces
we demolish each crumb
as if starved from eternity
and beyond if that was possible
satiation is still far away
yet that hunger has some meaning

misty drops of pure sunshine
hides you and I from shadows of rain

29 comments:

MsVennie said...

ah, darling, this soul imagery is exquisite.

Leo said...

i'll second Vennie first...

i'll go on to add the way u started makes the readers want to continue.. and the way u ended leaves me wanting more!

lovely writeup! :)

My OSI:Memories

illyria taylor said...

fantastic as always!

spacedlaw said...

I love the structure of this.

anthonynorth said...

That fog clings to everywhere. Excellently done.

Yellow Tulip said...

wow...too good dear:)..loved a lot:)

swapnap said...

Liked the way you have separated and put forth the first two and last two lines.Good write.

SandyCarlson said...

I love the transformative power of mutual hunger and the belief that it can be satisfied. Love it!

Lorraine said...

Exquisite indeed, it it's at all possible to have a favourite here (cause there are so many wonderful ones) This is IT!~ wow good girl ;)

Sue said...

Like the symmetry of the first and last verses! Your title phrase gives such a clear sense of two people cleaving unto each other with great intensity (desperation/inspiration) -- an almost damaging passion. great work, gautami!

Michelle Johnson said...

this is another favorite of your writing. the title is perfect and the poem shows the urgency of desperation/ inspiration coming together. excellent. have a great day.

Serena Shay said...

Beautiful! Nice job

Tumblewords: said...

'when my bones stick into yours' - terrific - ah, the hungers we have...

keiths ramblings said...

You always leave me speechless!

Maggie said...

How much closer can two get than bone to bone and when cloaked in the same fog...neither is ever alone.

Loved your take here.

missalister said...

This is exquisite agony, all of it, the deeps of art. So many delightfully searing word combinations here! Every line is hot, hot, hot. From out of nowhere, you were delivered a particularly inspired piece this day, I say : )

sarah haliwell said...

coming in late to say, wow! I love this. It's fabulous. Perhaps even one of my favourites of yours. Great job!

Geraldine said...

The imagery is indeed and in a word: exquisite. Nice work Gautami!

Pam said...

I like the couplets that you surrounded your poem with. The slight changes twisted the repetition slightly and made for a very good read.

Dee Martin said...

favorite lines:
you find me with desperation
I find you for inspiration
good stuff!

Andree said...

This passion is agonizing, isn't it. Written by somebody who knows exactly what this is like.

Jeeves said...

Lovely. as usual

Jim said...

Cloaked in the fog with our bones sticking together hanging from the pole. I think we've had it!
..

Amias said...

I dare say, making love has it's own special fog --- and I can image from this poem it was thick indeed.

I enjoyed this ...

Jane Doe said...

Delightful. I love how you began and ended this piece. Everything in between is wonderful too.

namingconstellations said...

Oh, this is exquisite. Lovely use of words, and as someone else probably said already, I like the switch in the first pair and last pair of lines. Very nice!

carolsnotebook said...

I love this one- the desperation/inspiration, the need for each other.

Shraddha@theselfloveproject said...

beautiful imagery!

lovely poem indeed

gabrielle said...

from desperation leads to hunger
"When my bones stick into yours"
yet there is more...