NYE on Paseo Reforma -- Street Performer by bradleyolin
I am waiting for the sky to fall on me, on us
(don't look at me like that, I know it's a cliche)
my hoarse voice carries to the heaven
hold my arms, burn me at a stake
but spare me my muscles
(I worked hard to build those)
I am almost insane with grief
and yet the lunatic world watches me
ferris wheel rolls into me
lights of the night blind me
you cut my trees, trampled on my flowers
made my cattle escape-
stole my horses for rodeo shows
your kaleidoscopic tents dot my farm
you walk all over my heart with hobnailed boots
geometry of fireworks cuts into me
my wails ail no one, apart from myself
20 comments:
Whoa! Deep and powerful.
Hello Gautami,
A world being destroyed by this army of selfish thrill seekers, trampling on lives and feelings!
You clearly see this street performer as a sad, down trodden soul. I like your descriptive phrases and imagery, "lunatic world watches", "ferris wheel rolls" and the "kaleidoscopic tents" . thank your for sharing this insightful writing.
Wow, I love the way the contradictions in the lines work together. Good job.
The pain of the performer that has to entertain the public even though he is sad because his own pain, problems...very well captured. As well as the feeliong of losing one's own heritgage and identity (ferris wheels...., i love all the lines after)
Ah, the truth, "my wails ail no one apart from myself." Especially when there is no one to hear. I like this.
DH
Mmmm. I love the inner conversations with the reader, especially noting one's own use of cliche... wondering about the metaphor of the experience itself.
From Therese B. at RWP -- The words you choose have historical and cultural resonances. The voice speaking seems to belong to a Mexican who is aware that his painful life results, in part, from the "rodeo show" conquests of invading Europeans. The word "geometry" to me conjures up the civilizations of Central or South American indigenous populations.
The lyrical I has got the whole world in his brain and in his mirror and in his brain and in his brain and ...
Best wishes
Ralf
This is great! Your tone and images are so strong here.
I love this line:
"you walk all over my heart with hobnailed boots"
Lots to think about in this one and I like all your word choices!
I love the ferris wheel image, how with the horses and the tents the performer physically becomes the carnival.
The sadness and desperation permeate the whole piece beautifully. Especially liked the first line...
I like how you've somehow conveyed the performer as a real person.
I like "your kaleidoscope tents dot my farm" - very cool image.
I love the ending line, and the language and self-awareness throughout.
so good..."geometry of fireworks cuts into me"...love it and cuts into me
It's a very cynical world out there...
Nice, Gautami!
deep and sad that we have turned out this way - destructive.
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