Friday, January 14, 2011

a raw rant

a recurring rant
rendered raw,
railing in there
my rank is rather low
rut created by you set in deep
why can't you remember
I am not my brothers
I am the daughter
you  never understood
somewhere down the line,
you stopped me from rotating

"yet you rallied for me
when I wrecked my heart"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry for this rant, but I needed to get it out. The "R"s helped and so did the limit of 55 words! More than enough, I would think!


Update: When I posted it, I was rather very angry. Not any more. So I interchanged couple of sentences. And it is no longer a rant. I could have taken it off. But am letting it stay. As a reminder to myself to control my anger.

23 comments:

vivinfrance said...

Sorry you're suffering - but at least you're suffering creatively.
ViV

Brian Miller said...

better to get it out than let it fester...hope you feel better soon...

lightverse said...

It's always good to get the emotion out, Sorry it's so painful, but hope your poem helps the healing,

LKHarris-Kolp said...

I agree with everything that's already been said. Writing is a wonderful outlet for homeless emotions.

Linda said...

I always am reminded of the line—"How do I know what I think until I read what I write."

G-Man said...

Serenity NOW Gautami...
Relax....
But it does make for a great 55!!
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

twitches said...

'You stopped me from rotating' is a GREAT line!

Yvonne Osborne said...

This poem is raw.

The alliteration works well.

I felt this... "I am not my brothers
I am the daughter
you never understood"

Thanks for sharing.

barbara said...

Glad you explained. I thought: pretty generous anger. I like that coda.
Interesting to wonder about revising poems in a different frame of mind--change the mood? explore it?

Jingle said...

it is good to stop rotating to catch your breath.

beautiful 55.

anthonynorth said...

Full of emotion. Sometimes right.

Mama Zen said...

It's good to let it out.

marianv said...

Nothing like a good rant to clear the emotions. You ranted with the letter "R which is appropriate. I hope no more ranting will be necessary.

flaubert said...

Yes, Gautami keep writing it does help. I also hope things get better for you.
Pamela

Jannie Funster said...

I think it is good to get things out, and in doing so we touch others who may be feeling the same. We are all her for each other, and sharing is good.

xo

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

I haven't seen so many R's since the I watched that last pirate movie. (Arrr! LOL!)

Alice Audrey said...

Dang, I wish I'd caught the earlier version. I like a good rant.

Tumblewords: said...

Powerfully poetic!

Kavita said...

Oh.. this was good!! When angry, it's better to let it somehow!! And out this way (as a poem on a blog) is much better than on people! :)
Cuz the former, you can edit/recall.. but the latter, you can't!

A ROARRRRRING 55, G! :)

hedgewitch said...

Anger can be constructive as long as one can also let it go. As others have said, using it up in this poem was a good choice, and it made a good clean bit of writing. Nicely done.

joanny said...

GREAT RANT

emotive powerful and expressive in such an economy of words.

joanny

Deb said...

"you stopped me from rotating" -- such a a powerful line!

James said...

The raw nature of this works, and R is a perfect sound for such a piece.