Poetry for me is a way of living, it comes out of nowhere and I have to write it down. How I write, what I write, I decide. I am not asking you to be judgemental. I am gifted with the ability to see beyond the obvious.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Thigh story (25 words, 160 characters)
His single kidney split into two. Hissing. Flowed on his thighs. Yellowed. Dried, his thighs look like the lottery ticket. Don't eat your pretzels from it.
Sounds great! But I don't understand it! Original thinking! A little gory perhaps. I'm not sure that I want to know what this poem means. Some things are best left as they are!
Nice work with the concrete, if unpleasant, images. It makes me feel a great sense of loss, and I marvel at your ability to say so much in so few words.
26 comments:
Your Centus made my kidney hurt..I love your originality.
yes, I cringed a little. UGH. Nice take on this!
Poor guy!
(Not even thinking of pretzels at the moment)
:)
That single kidney splitting - he has lost the lottery. Riveting! Here's my lottery ticket.
Very clever and I did like the way you say things in a few words but with deep insights. Well done and good day.
Your words conveys deep meaning.
You can find my words in the poetry world at http://www.cesargealogo.com
very interesting take on this.
I cringe with a sense of lost hope.~Ames
yikes
that was kinda visceral
And i liked it.
=)
Now that's an original take!!
Sounds great! But I don't understand it! Original thinking! A little gory perhaps. I'm not sure that I want to know what this poem means. Some things are best left as they are!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's SC#37-The lottery ticket
I can always count on you for an original, thought provoking Centus. The image of the kidney splitting, hissing - really nicely done. Kat
Quite the picture you painted there...yikes!
Wow, that brought quite the image to mind!
Pamela
Nice work with the concrete, if unpleasant, images. It makes me feel a great sense of loss, and I marvel at your ability to say so much in so few words.
Great post..........cj
the imagery is something else ... what an interesting take!
You take us on such an interesting journey in so few words. I appreciate it.
xoRobyn
dont dip your chip in it...eww...lol. it does make my kidney hurt...
agh...
I will have to think on this one lol.
Ack! Most definitely wouldn't eat pretzels or anything else off that surface. Thanks for playing along with the Sunday 160.
wow...
watch out...
striking words..well played.
Powerful. Guess I'll be chewing on this one all week...
Eow.. (cringing and wincing)
A very tight write though!
(I am kinda glad I am not a fan of pretzels) :)
A certain Haiku quality to this...nice...Peace and blessings
Amazing how grossed out you made so many of us in only 25 words.
That is some well-done micro-fiction.
Thanks for linking.
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